@egabbert "Make a little birdhouse in your Kia Soul™"

What if, instead of taking a vacation day, we honored MLK Jr by working our asses off for something we believed in?

I would never, ever write an essay claiming that kids shouldn't be raised by lesbians, but if I did, I'd title it "Mo Mommies, Mo Problems"

Watching The Hunger Games. Who directed this, a drunk guy?

@ismashfizzle @brittd1178 There's no excuse for that language, but I do like how she photoshopped her face onto the moon in her profile pic.

Apple's gotta have an ace up their sleeve, right? #iPhone5

Dual monitors, you sons of bitches. Nothing can stop me now.

If you're gonna sport a "Shop Local" bumper sticker, you should probably drive an American car.

@maynardsmind If you do, eat all the crispies at the bottom of the bag. Go big or go home.

This ad has a secret anti-abuse message that only kids can see:  http://gizmodo.com/this-ad-has-a-secret-anti-abuse-message-that-only-kids-493108460 …

@egabbert #'s 1-2500 are calls from the Fertile Crescent.

Today I made the weirdest marketing decision of my career. Stay tuned to see if it pays off.

Holy moly, how did I miss this? Facebook to launch full-screen, can't-skip video ads by the end of summer:  http://readwrite.com/2013/04/17/new-facebook-ads-go-big-but-get-less-social-users-will-hate-them …

@egabbert I believe the noun of assemblage for deer is a "splendor." Or it should be.

@laura_straub @devan_ Bummer. I've been pronouncing it MAH-kille-moréé like a dunce.

FYI for my non-discing pals: a disc on the top of the basket does not count.

@egabbert Great, now I have to listen to that entire album. Thanks a million!

@colefarrell Good luck today! I'm sure you'll kill it.

It doesn't matter how much time has passed; Third Eye Blind still gets it.

@maynardsmind building a personality / becoming as interesting as they can, enter college w/ a good idea of who they are&get laid constantly