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  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    Is there a recruitment agency that specialises in jobs that don't gradually erode your soul until you're just an empty husk?

    • 22
    • FAVS
    loufloresdubbydoosFOTPKAnglosephineAbitFraughtIntehellerdetJASMADA99KittyRM
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    sheddingmyskinleannezgtraineefloristClaire_LynnetteNMHodgsonmark_dathorneannamkhabarovaJamieRhysWhite
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    It's not that I don't love life, I'm just not *in* love with it.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    bid_meisterAdamTAsselinBrentweetsCin_SinbinjudetxamishschoolNone2Clever89LetoileSan
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Yvbitsvme_Razzlar_19fuego_queenLetoileSanonce_fabulousTheDailySchmuck
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I'm not bitter I'm just trying it on for size.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    daisysunshine90__coepilotJeeepstaPippersheenAlexArtJunkieLxoosTheDailySchmuckEmaaneee
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    AlexArtJunkieTheDailySchmuck
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    This morning I spilt mouthwash down me and didn't have time to change, so if you like a gal with a minty fresh cleavage I'm the one for you.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    GFGanderBrentweetsCin_Sinbinmaro_kamjfrank50TheDailySchmuckAhAhAh_ArborAnn
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Razzlar_19TheDailySchmuckmjanebourne
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    (I) (overuse) (brackets) (because) (I) (don't) (want) (a) (single) (word) (to) (be) (left) (without) (a) (cuddle.)

    • 1
    • FAV
    JasonBerlin
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    jeflewlogicandmagicFishSauceLillyLyleperiwinklewineratittyhoodedhawkspandorapink
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    Some song lyrics are so perfect that they make me want to write them out using a quill and then rub the piece of paper all over my face.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinGhostHelwigAaronDelays
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    a_goodedollsandsaintshubcaphaloKirilleoAaronDelaysjameswalkerguy
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    Melt away stomach fat fast! Set fire to yourself.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    PammyJo19692chland3BrotherwagsAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    samiscabsBrotherwags
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    *clears throat* @amyleannewalker and @toffeegalleanne are getting married in the morrrrrrrning! Ding Dong the bells are gonna chiiiiime!

    • 4
    • FAVS
    pandorapinkteatimewithemamyleannewalkerToffeegalLeanne
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    ToffeegalLeanne
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I know you shouldn't play favourites with your legs but I definitely prefer the right one.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    zalesmanvonngilmorek8ieokayonce_fabulous
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    once_fabulous
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    The light in my fridge is broken and I'm worried that the Babybels are afraid of the dark :(

    • 3
    • FAVS
    nickijinglespandorapinktraineeflorist
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    mjanebournepandorapink
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    If I'm ever found dead in my bathtub, it wasn't suicide, it was just because I tried to shave my legs in a hurry.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinmotorbaby213
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    motorbaby213pandorapinkhowlieT
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    A Facebook friend just checked into 'Love' with their girlfriend and what's that word for when you hope someone drowns in their own blood?

    • 2
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinAspersioncast
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    tyratayylorhowlieTPatrickAnimi
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I think my bad back comes from trying to lift the troubles of the world without bending my knees sufficiently.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinAaronDelays
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    megerobertsChellcakehowlieT
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    If you're going to insist on living happily ever after, at least have the decency not to bang on about it all the time.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    stu_ckpandorapinkAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I got my day cream and night cream mixed up and now my face is nocturnal.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    pandorapinkEmaaneee
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    howlieTCelineSerafin
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I think my phone is broken, every time I save a guy's number in it they turn into a cunt.

    • 1
    • FAV
    WallyTheDeer
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SproglettapandorapinkPatrickEchoEcho
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    Don't get mad at Torvill and Dean, skaters gonna skate.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Particiafcwj__Racheleebin______Kariezgpw__Annettainozq______
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    Let's all just be kinder to each other, for fuck's sake.

    • 1
    • FAV
    JasonBerlin
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    traineefloristcymruangelpandorapink
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I'm going to start wearing rollerskates 24/7 so that it's easier for a man to sweep me off my feet.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    defnotscottzoefell
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    pandorapinkzoefell
  • iamanicelady
      Helen @iamanicelady

    I'm worried that being afraid of the dark makes me racist :(

    • 2
    • FAVS
    JasonBerlinAaronDelays
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    LordToothhowlieT
@iamanicelady

@iamanicelady

'Rest assured, I'm a doll.'