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Turned on reading old emails and imaging the new ones I hope are coming my way.
I've never ridden in a Hummer (Hum-Vee).
Who the fuck orders a "glass of coffee"?
Sobriety is bullshit. I’ve tried getting drunk but I lose interest and forget to drink my spiked Sprite.
"I will believe a corporation is a person when Texas executes one." If Hobby Lobby wins it's contraception coverage case, we're all screwed
Ryan Ferguson: pretty white boy released after conviction overturned, no retrial= TV, front page. Black men *exonerated* off death row= meh.
You can tell the relative safety of your local Walgreens neighborhood by whether they'll let you enter by either set of doors.
If I die soonish please bury me with every piece of 70% off Target workout clothes I have bought in the last two weeks.
Is it normal for a lady FedEx driver to "let" the men in an office unload her truck when it's 20-30 boxes? What does she get paid for?
Randy Neugebauer: Publicly apologize to the U.S. Park Service Ranger http://www.change.org/petitions/randy-neugebauer-publicly-apologize-to-the-u-s-park-service-ranger?share_id=ycDOsbFfWi&utm_campaign=twitter_link_action_box&utm_medium=twitter&utm_source=share_petition … via @change
Save your time & energy. The Locker cloud storage service from AT&T is a big fat fail. Yes they suck so bad I'm obligated to warn you.
How loud do I have to turn up my headphones to drown out the IDIOTIC pointless stupid whiny blabbering by my coworker? VERY LOUD. S.T.F.U.
“We tell ourselves stories in order to live. We look for the sermon in suicide, for the social/moral lesson in the murder of five” J Didion
Funniest accountant you'll never meet. Covered in tattoos & piercings to be sexy & cool. Heterosexual lover of rainbows. I'm funnier on Tumblr.
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