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my sister while lying in the grass: "Edward Cullen can't get none of this. Thats what I think whenever I'm in the sun"
there's a portal to another dimension underneath Zooey Deschanel's bangs and I am determined to use it to meet Benjamin Franklin
Holy crap, it's a million o'clock and I can't sleep. Lets all watch True Romance together. Ready? Start your deeveedeeeeeee NOW.
I was 6 when I met Barney the Dinosaur. when he hugged me I got a giant whiff of cologne & that's when I knew the world was bullshit
please don't @ me and tell me how much you dislike the new daft punk album thanks
yo if you think random access memories is boring but like homework and/or discovery: what
Oh, cool, the couple both wearing Lisa Loeb glasses on their first date sitting next to me are talking about how much they love Portlandia.
Congratulations, Michele Bachmann! Now that Minnesota has approved gay marriage, you're finally free to marry your gay husband!
"I sold my iPad to buy u a loop of Oprah dancing" "I sold my tumblr to buy u a loop of a squirrel winking for ur iPad" (The Gif of the Magi)
Heyyy why not spend four hours reciting the lyrics to the Cheers theme in Bane's voice? #brainmagic #fun #death
Overheard: what you said was: "i don't respect women who don't respect themselves" what you meant was: "i... http://tmblr.co/Zs9Onxkcux5z
Parks & Rec renewed. Good. Now please make @pattonoswalt a regular cast member and put him on every week. Thank you.
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