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my sister while lying in the grass: "Edward Cullen can't get none of this. Thats what I think whenever I'm in the sun"
Please God, let me die a sexy death
there's a portal to another dimension underneath Zooey Deschanel's bangs and I am determined to use it to meet Benjamin Franklin
Holy crap, it's a million o'clock and I can't sleep. Lets all watch True Romance together. Ready? Start your deeveedeeeeeee NOW.
Living well is the best meme.
I was 6 when I met Barney the Dinosaur. when he hugged me I got a giant whiff of cologne & that's when I knew the world was bullshit
please don't @ me and tell me how much you dislike the new daft punk album thanks
yo if you think random access memories is boring but like homework and/or discovery: what
Oh, cool, the couple both wearing Lisa Loeb glasses on their first date sitting next to me are talking about how much they love Portlandia.
I FINALLY GET TO POOP
Congratulations, Michele Bachmann! Now that Minnesota has approved gay marriage, you're finally free to marry your gay husband!
Jonah Hill is a great roll model.
"I sold my iPad to buy u a loop of Oprah dancing" "I sold my tumblr to buy u a loop of a squirrel winking for ur iPad" (The Gif of the Magi)