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It's OK, Kansas. You still have great weath...beautiful scener...Wichit...oh boy. Yep, this one's gonna hurt for a while.
6
New Moon is out TODAY!? NEW MOON!!!? Why didn't anyone tell me?!? I've been watching REGULAR gay porn!!!
It's Saturday night. I got new panties, got my hair and nails done, and bought a new shirt. So, you know that means....yup. I'm broke.
16
I promised myself once spring came I'd take up jogging. I hate letting myself down but I can't believe I believed myself in the first place.
I will make bad snow puns until it stops snowing in Spring. I snow what you're thinking: Snow way! That's snow stupid. I'll snow away now.
You know what would go great with this woman's vast coupon collection and ability to write a check uber slow? A fucking knife wound.
Why do they always kill people for knowing too much? It makes more sense to kill the ones who know too little.
Working as a model on mattress packaging requires mastering one of two looks: "About to Bone" and the slightly more subtle "Just Boned".
My wife's yelling at me to hurry up. Easy for her to say -- the floor's not lava for her. Oh crap, she's coming. Ow ow ow. And now I'm dead.
The 1st rule of Fight Club is: No one ever addresses how homoerotic Fight Clubs are.
The 2nd rule is: No girls allowed.
The 2nd rule is: No girls allowed.
This youth group broke the number one cardinal rule of making money at a Car Wash.
They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign.
They let the fat chick hold the car wash sign.
Men think about sex every 7 seconds. Which is why I eat hot dogs in 6 seconds, so it doesn't get weird.
Since I started art classes, I've been studying the human body. The curves & lines of it. And how the body starts to smell up my apartment.
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