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@ian_Wright
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Friends: 465
Followers: 555
Favs Given: 3,330
Favs Rec'd: 7,502
@ian_Wright's (Ian_Wright) most faved Tweets...
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Hey, dude in the Hummer with all the chrome, the lights, and the crazy rims...
Sorry about your penis.
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ian_Wright
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One in three Americans weigh as much as the other two.
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ian_Wright
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When i think about this world, I worry for the children.
Well, your children anyway - I've given mine guns.
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ian_Wright
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If Dane Cook was a font, he would be Sans Comic.
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ian_Wright
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Wife is home soon, i will pour her some wine and put on some music...
That way she will have something to do while i play XBox.
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ian_Wright
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Facebook is actually useful if you look at it as a way of keeping in touch with friends that don't know how to use the internet.
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ian_Wright
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Wife did that thing with her tongue this morning.
The one where she drinks the last of the coffee, pokes it out at me and leaves the house.
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ian_Wright
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The problem i found in Utah was trying to set my watch back 40 years.
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ian_Wright
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Need to sort your bitches from your ho's?
There's a rap for that.
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ian_Wright
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'Aunt Flo' is not 'paying a visit'.
You're having your period and I'm hiding the fucking knives.
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ian_Wright
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Neighbours daughter is having singing lessons.
Simply put, she has the voice of an angel.
Being strangled.
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ian_Wright
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Me: "Baby, I'm sorry i'm late back."
Her: "Ok. You're dinner is in the oven."
M: "Cool. What is it?"
H: "Salad."
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ian_Wright
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Hard work never killed anyone.
Assuming you discount slavery, industrial accidents, long term stress and the occasional fascist dictator.
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ian_Wright
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My Google joke is still in beta. I will not provide any support, and will continue to be very vague about when punchline will actually work.
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ian_Wright
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I just duct taped an extra blade on my seven blade Gillette because, quite frankly... i'm more manly than you.
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ian_Wright
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Am i the only person seeing the irony in the title "Final Destination 4"?
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ian_Wright
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Business Idea:
A gym that charges by the day you DON'T use it.
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ian_Wright
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Yes. In the UK we do have a socialist health system -particuly if you define "Socialist" as not letting people die because they are poor.
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ian_Wright
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I have picked up so many German followers lately, i worry i'm becoming the David Hasselhof of Twitter.
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ian_Wright
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It's hard as an adult to remember you can actually do anything you want.
So today I tie-dyed a cat purple, green and yellow.
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ian_Wright
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