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  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    my fuckinh piece of shit uncle put a frut roll up in my cd tray on my laptop and now i can't tweet without ants covering my fucking hands

    • 7
    • FAVS
    NotBobWestRetsilaXofHowMuchForGoatSneakernetsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    Wright_ThoughtsSneakernetsSexxxydad
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i bet cops love to play mortal kombat 3 to preform brutalities as stryker. i bet thats the last test they have to take before becoming a cop

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsRetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    ekksteisiRetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    everyone misses the 90s but i miss the early 2000s. i miss those faded jeans that didn't have ass pockets. fuck doug and the shitty rugrats.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofWright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
    • 5
    • FAVS
    aPoshWankRetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    THERE ARE ANTS ALL OVER MY COMPUTER

    • 5
    • FAVS
    RubiGHerreraSneakernetsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Sneakernets
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    when i was a young kid my mom's friends thought i was going to be gay as i got older. ha ha! joke's on them! i've kissed like 2 girls!

    • 5
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Wright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i hate boners. if it were up to me i would just never have another boner for the rest of my dumb stupid idiot life.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i can relate with snapchat because i too am worthless

    • 4
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofWright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    the mazes on the backs of cereal boxes are fucking easy as shit. it's like they make them for fucking idiots or something.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsRetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Wright_ThoughtsRetsilaXof
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    hey ladies, you should text me if you want to check out how utterly disappointing one human can be

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Wright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    some bugs flew into my mtn dew but i swore upon my step dad's grave that i'd forever do the dew so i'm crunching on some bugs at the moment

    • 4
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Wright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i am now in the SEVENTH CIRCLE OF HELL and i gotta tell ya... haha man do i miss the SIXTH CIRCLE OF HELL

    • 3
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofWright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    RetsilaXofWright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    women are starting to get annoying because now like most of em have evolved and gained the ability to fly & shoot lazers from their mouths..

    • 2
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i asked the lady at subway to make a pb&j and she said, "pee pee and j?" so now i have to eat this stupid piss sandwich.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    JulianaireWright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Wright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    i think a girlfriend might be too much for me. maybe i should start with a lizard, or two lizards. maybe i should collect lizards.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofaPoshWankAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    RetsilaXof
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    more like beat me over the head with a club music

    • 2
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    I am drunk as good man

    • 3
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsRetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Wright_Thoughts
  • ianelizardi
    • 2
    • FAVS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    my dad's barbecue pit fell apart and he proclaimed it a "dad-saster"

    • 2
    • FAVS
    RetsilaXofAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • ianelizardi
      big news @ianelizardi

    my shit uncle went ahead and made me a gravestone. it says, "stupid shitbag 1992-2014 died from fucking up everyone's goodtime at the lake"

    • 1
    • FAV
    Wright_Thoughts
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Wright_ThoughtsAvatar_unknown_48
@ianelizardi

@ianelizardi

i keep digging myself graves thinking the next one will be better but i realize now that they're all just holes in the ground