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my fuckinh piece of shit uncle put a frut roll up in my cd tray on my laptop and now i can't tweet without ants covering my fucking hands
i bet cops love to play mortal kombat 3 to preform brutalities as stryker. i bet thats the last test they have to take before becoming a cop
ugh i'm so stuffed. i ate too much super BOWL food. soup, chowder, cereal... pot. i ate some pot out of a bowl hahaha #420
everyone misses the 90s but i miss the early 2000s. i miss those faded jeans that didn't have ass pockets. fuck doug and the shitty rugrats.
i'm thinking of writing an epic poem of stone cold steve austin turning into a samurai and venturing the nine circles of hell.
apparently i am in a friend zone(?) if so that's great! bring on the friends! :^D
time for sport!!!!!
i'm at a halloween party in austin. guess how many wes anderson characters are here.
my shit uncle went ahead and made me a gravestone. it says, "stupid shitbag 1992-2014 died from fucking up everyone's goodtime at the lake"
THERE ARE ANTS ALL OVER MY COMPUTER
when i was a young kid my mom's friends thought i was going to be gay as i got older. ha ha! joke's on them! i've kissed like 2 girls!
i hate boners. if it were up to me i would just never have another boner for the rest of my dumb stupid idiot life.
if i was in charge of drawing the yellow lines on the football replays i would just circle everyone's asses
i can relate with snapchat because i too am worthless
i keep digging myself graves thinking the next one will be better but i realize now that they're all just holes in the ground
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