I've never wanted to be cat...until now.

If you think she's cute, let her know. Maybe she needs to hear it just as bad as you need to say it.

"I consider Nickelback a curse word."

"Nobody masturbates to love. Nobody suffers from being horny." Bull. Shit.

So, I got drunk last night and made this rubber flogger. Need the tips trimmed. http://t.co/XeAXoBr8

So there's this girl...

Clean up on aisle 69.

I almost feel bad about the vicious eye fucking this sweet girl is about to get.

Accidentally burped Chinese food in her face and lived to tell the tale. I promise it was an accident.

My safe word is a string of expletives screamed while kicking her square in the box.

I just had the hottest onesome. Now, sleep before the sun comes up. G'nite.

@skullcat AMONGST OTHER THINGS

@missterf @candy_grrl HE COMES IN THE NIGHT!

A little inspiration...
"No matter how slow you go, you are still lapping everybody on the couch." - Unknown

If a girl walks in and carves her name on your heart, do you turn and walk away?

@thatfinguy Might I suggest you find a roller derby bout near you?

These underwear are HOT! No really, my junk is sweating. Time to get naked.

@missterf nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...*cough*oooooo

@missterf hey pretty, wanna take a ride with me?

Art Project - I'm an artist. Primarily working in the graphic design field for other creative types, mostly b…  http://tmblr.co/ZojZWvc0MN2D