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  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    My husband just hung up on me. Unacceptable! I am marching downstairs right now to confront him!

    • 166
    • FAVS
    WritepopMaxine12333ICountBeanssjonslowfletchworld73CrowetoonsBalutJustTashie
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    nitia_____________kmperrettafavstar1000favsmytweecwetlife____brianpboydBuck4it__________Favstar500Favs
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    God grant me the serenity not to buy every item at Target, the courage to get only what I need, and the wisdom to know the difference.

    • 119
    • FAVS
    missingblakesMaxine12333ICountBeanssjonslowJustTashieybonesy__________Mothpetefletchworld73
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Maxine12333ICountBeanssfavstar1000favsA_PeabodyFavstar500FavsRebeccaLucente
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    Darn it. I can't remember if I took my meds.
    Anyways, I wonder if Ambien overdoses are common.
    Darn it. I can't remember if I took my meds.

    • 93
    • FAVS
    ICountBeanssDorkstarsLab______JadiekytBillMc7Bulldog0613MothpeteStephenBCramerJanesBrook
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    DorkstarsLab______Favstar500FavsixSEANxi
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    #BadWritingTips Write a sentence. Read a tweet. Write a sentence. Read a tweet. Write a sentence. Read a tweet. Cheat: Read another tweet.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    MothpeteJadiekytlvvzzanythingatonceRmahMosaJasminestormykatin_crawfordSObeysick
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    appraisingpagesJTsuruokaPurpleQueenNLBrianYaugerMLGlegobikeSObeysicksuze_rileylogicalvulcan
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    I am dancing on the telephone pole at the corner of Tit St. and Ass Ave. wearing only a belt and heels. I am now Mayor! #pornsquare

    • 65
    • FAVS
    ybonesy__________DorkstarsLab______mrsgnationBulldog0613StephenBCramerHerPinkRibbonsLorrax710JessicaFancy
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    nitia_____________Favstar500Favsd_whiteplume
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    Birds have viciously bombed my mailbox with poop.I will no longer be getting my mail.Please explain my situation to the credit card company.

    • 64
    • FAVS
    ICountBeanssjonslowJustTashieBulldog0613MothpeteStephenBCramerHerPinkRibbonsStexcy
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Favstar500Favs
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    My son's long awaited Lego Wii game arrived. Now we've got a tantrum on our hands. It can be hard for a dad when his boy gets to play first.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    ICountBeanssjonslowArroiaBulldog0613MothpeteStephenBCramerHerPinkRibbonsStexcy
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    AugenblickLyric__minealone6Avatar_unknown_48
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    Last night, every time the doorbell would ring, my 4yr old would enthusiastically say "We have another customer!" #sweetest

    • 46
    • FAVS
    jonslowJadiekytBulldog0613Ch8rmingStephenBCramerHerPinkRibbonsbigclumsyhearteverylilthing
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    The only thing better than mocking a really dumb tweet is noticing that it has a dumb hashtag. And then seeing my picture next to it.

    • 43
    • FAVS
    DorkstarsLab______Bulldog0613Ch8rmingStephenBCramerHerPinkRibbonsStexcyhic_calixHiHighHigher
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    DorkstarsLab______
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    It's only weird if you make it weird. Now c'mon, which toe smells better?

    • 34
    • FAVS
    funnyguyAntF3ltz__________jonslowpaul_shinneverylilthingVocabuLarryGlypheNotesFlyoverJoel
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    jonslowamuirinschuzamybonesy__________LifeofMauspencer_wesMmeLaCroozrelfarrah
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    This week I forced my husband to read my tweets. "But I don't get it. I don't wear tightie whities" just a thin comic slice separates us.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    JadiekytBulldog0613HerPinkRibbonsHiHighHigherllvvzzCJRoberts_DMM____ThatGabiZen_Bubba
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    Pretending to be texting something of import to mask the complete disconnect I feel with the goings on around me.

    • 38
    • FAVS
    jonslowHerPinkRibbonseverylilthinghic_calixradioman_HiHighHigherfunnyguyEmilyKrajniak
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    hic_calix
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    5yo said "Goodnight. You look like a hanging baboon." then responding to the look on my face, "no.You look like a princess hanging baboon."

    • 37
    • FAVS
    jonslowJustTashieCh8rmingHerPinkRibbonseverylilthinghic_calixfunnyguysilent_musings
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    Judging by the pubic hair I just found on it, this dress was formerly owned by an aging redhead. #leavingthedressingroomandexitingGoodwill

    • 35
    • FAVS
    Bulldog0613HerPinkRibbonsHiHighHigherllvvzzCJRoberts_DMM____YourBabyJames____thesearenewdayskennyhcomedy
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    I took my 5yo with me to see the peacocks today and I'll be darned if we didn't see some full frontal feathering.

    • 33
    • FAVS
    Bulldog0613HerPinkRibbonseverylilthingfunnyguyTerrillificllvvzzCoatCzechYourBabyJames____
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    In college, my favorite professor wrote, "This pleases me" on my term paper. So when I write that, know it's code for "I want to fuck you."

    • 29
    • FAVS
    jonslowJadiekytnsfwmeHerPinkRibbonseverylilthinghic_calixHiHighHigherllvvzz
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    jteh1__heyitstigraBDGarp
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    How little somnia qualifies as insomnia? Once and for all, am I a somniac or an insomniac. I'm tired of losing sleep over it.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    jonslowybonesy__________HerPinkRibbonsStexcyhic_calixtwilighteyes08HiHighHighertweetcomedian
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    The most beautiful sunny, windy day in Austin!!! It makes sitting in my dark windowless underthestairs closet feel that much cozier.

    • 32
    • FAVS
    HerPinkRibbonseverylilthinghic_calixfunnyguyllvvzzZen_BubbaYourBabyJames____MikeSchism
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    It hurts my feelings when you live tweet your orgasms. If you don't have one for everybody then it's best to leave them at home. #manners

    • 24
    • FAVS
    Ch8rmingnsfwmeHerPinkRibbonspaul_shinnhic_calixfunnyguyHiHighHigherllvvzz
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    BronxCheer48BigDaddyVatoplainsongsMaui_SpeaksBlackWidowBanstinginthetailmigroddy
  • icybluequest
      Elizabeth @icybluequest

    I'm above caring about typos. I'm above caring about typos. You think I'm messing with you? Watch this: I ma boeuf currying a butt taipeis.

    • 27
    • FAVS
    paul_shinnHerPinkRibbonseverylilthingtwipparazi________hic_calixHiHighHigherhg47jen4coffee
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    hic_calixjohanna198128BDGarp
@icybluequest

@icybluequest

I am wife to 1 and mom to 2. I love laughing and writing about people, behavior, and daily life in my world. My short attention span loves twitter.