Just checking myself out in the mirror ;) Boy, do I look stupid when I cum.

Just pumped and dumped ;)

Eggnog lattes are like drinking Santa jism ;)

I leave my cell phone on vibrate. In a tube sock. In my ass ;)

@barelysarcasm Kanye's semen is Harder. Better. Faster. Stronger ;)

Shut up, hack. "@danecook: Dating makes perfect senseless."

Stellar:Beef #beefbandnames

My last boyfriend sure wasn't a looker, but he had a 9-inch personality ;)

Are Pro-Lifers against condoms? I can support their cause if that's a thing they do. #rawdawg4lyfe ;)

LJBF ;) #LetsJustButtFuck

Hey guys please RT my video that was submitted to the #crashthesuperbowl contest. http://www.crashthesuperbowl.com/#/gallery/?video=2956 <3U

VYou.com is the Twitter of Chatroulette with less dick and more chick.

The Great Modest Mouse Detective #bandmoviemashup

Jimmy hat 4 cat loverz ;) pic.twitter.com/t3bUxSW5

never owned an iPhone, never will never smoked crack, never will

"Hot Cheetos and Takis/I'm Black so I don't play hockey" - DGSIII

"fuck that asshole" turns into a compliment when you put "wanna" in front and a proposition when you put "?" at the end ;)

"I just can't see Grimes' pussy smelling good." - Danny

"All burgers are pink on the inside" - this quote is also about cheeseburgers ;)

Does anyone else look super fuxtable in their twitcon, or just me? ;)