Calling a Pakistani an Indian is a bit like calling a BMW a Peugeot.

I have it on good authority that whenever a Somali passes his driving test insurance companies nationwide raise their premiums.

@pinguvsmeercats is it a drone?

@errnooo Sue her. Sue her for everything she has. Put her on the streets. Make her homeless.

This is an amazing team with a shockingly inept captain, either that or he had an awful day. #Hafeez #WT20 #IndvsPak

"But this time, of the 8 predators, 7 were white, not Asian.. & the story made barely a ripple in the national media." http://t.co/HD1wtcZ7

@azkaahass Read it earlier, wonder what it will cost to continue the operations covertly. Mr 10% may now raise his rates.

Remember when the German market only stretched from the top of New Street to the fountain? It now takes up that entire side of city centre.

@not_mr_mcmahon @justinbieber Chyna would be ideal. But don't let XPac anywhere near him!

@oneofakindnadia Easy there tiger. I've only got the one timeline ;)

Follow @itweethoward_ if you want somebody to make you laugh with random tweets first thing in the morning