RT if you have agreed with every 2chainz song you've ever heard

Hi twiller I am bad at you

what is the earliest that its legal to order pizza

i cride. i am cring

Shit, just ran out of favs. Gave my last fav. Burning this account for heat.

@citystash If jerking off passed on genetic material i'd hate to see my child support bill! #heyoo #MRA #spermjacking #diescum

They only have these MUSLIN petticoats in sizes 9-11 but I'm sure OBAMA gets to buy them in other sizes. Oh hi @jaubertmoniker

if you get high does your whole body get high as well? I'm scared to try

12 day count down till the removal of the roommate who has repeatedly referred to himself as a "celebrity" in complete earnest

Wierd Reality is up and coming

Tonight is Great! pic.twitter.com/lKHDfzgS

Heh, I guess I am a technocrat *proudly pounds an "iPhone for president" sign into lawn*

idk guns will be pretty impressive when we are exploring space. like: "oh you're from saturn i can break a bottle from 50ft away"

Ask Jeeves bought Pinterest?!?

I'm not racist but *performs an elegant dance that enchants a nation*

"Hey I'm one of those scientists what studies bugs. You know the eggs that fleas lay? We just call them 'fleggs'."

Hey, if your ad appears before videos of news reports relating to the attack guess what I'm not buying...

Standing next to Tyga and Lil' Wayne just smiling a lont till they get weirded out and walk away.

the sobering realization that all these songs that say "beat the pussy up" are not by people who knew me in high school

Twitter just called. CompStat was showing my Fav score was low. Not giving enough Favs. Union better have my back or they're letting me go.