Dear Everyone On the Internet, NOBODY CARES. SAVE IT FOR YOUR DIARY.

i wish twitter would add a little rainbow next to each tweet so we could mark them as "gay".

If you need to assign a specific day on twitter for being yourself and enjoying the experience YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

oh nothing. just bacon.

i left out the tacos and set up the PBR tree but there were no hookers in my bed this morning. @benmarvin Day is just an old wives tale.

Those chips better be good because if you don't start chewing with your mouth closed, they'll be the last fucking thing you ever eat.

BREAKING NEWS: Attention whore gets attention on the internets!!

"and that's why they pay me the medium bucks."

why stop caring when you can just never start?

remember the time your internet drama broke tumblr?

something about vikings

remember that time i did that thing? that was so ambiguous!

I'm giving out free bacon for every star. Star now and star often for your FREE BACON!

Oh nothing. Just repeatedly stabbing this day in the neck because it really deserves to fucking die.

O 4 FOX SAKE

it puts the paycheck in the oven or something something burrito fish taco.

I'm so hungry, I could eat a lunch!

THAT'S WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY!

I'm just going to go ahead and tell myself to go wait in the car.

bacon