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How do you think all those people who got locked in during the Crystal Maze are doing?
Reminder that Armed Forces Day didn't exist 3 years ago and is a media exercise to make you feel ok about war.
@hell_homer @hiyourjon @nice_mustard 'No flying cars but you'll steal jokes on a telephone'
New Rule: If you're in Glasgow you're not allowed to tweet the words 'Brad Pitt' unless you're directly looking at him right there and then.
Everyone email this address in support of @burrito_quimby 's application to Come Dine Wae Me. http://t.co/zIltWn5O
Whoever made The Iron Lady should have waited for her to die so that it has a happy ending.
Pure raging that I get hunners of likes and comments on Facebook but on here I get fuck all in the way of a simple retweet.
Pls RT this Cool Special Deal at @nice_n_sleazy tonight where you can pay for your drinks with ibuprofen n paracetamol
PROTIP! When yr drunk n in bed alone stroke your own sides n legs n say aloud in a high voice 'yr so cute when yr drunk I love you'
Unless the military are powerless to stop it I don't think this really qualifies as a headline. http://t.co/KRM7ldcp
#HowToGetKickedOutOfMcDonalds Insist there is an unhappy meal. Demand the unhappy meal. Get upset & cry when you can't get an unhappy meal
. @two_bros of 15 years standing playing Mario Kart & one of them asks about the Wu Tang Secret & the other knows what he has to do.
The easiest way to manipulate someone into having sex with you is to look good & be nice to them.
It's only September but Glasgow got dark quickly huh?
*in a low & horrible voice* Glasgow's always been this dark pal, are you fae here?!
Scotland! 2014! Where the most oft asked question between strangers is 'So are ye a Celtic or Thistle fan?'
YASS! Homer Simpson is being put into the back of an ambulance. We all know how THAT is going to end. #drunkhalloween #SpringfieldGorge
The Boy Who Wanted Peace
