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If EVERYONE listened more and talked less, I would volunteer to be the one everyone got to listen to. You're welcome.
I'll steal all y'alls vibrator batteries. You'll CARE
Ill steal your side of the bed. I don't care.
I will steal all instagram food pics and none of us will care!
I hate losing all of those minutes I spent raking through the dead leaves only to find a nut.
If Twitter said "For one day, you may not be passive aggressive or sarcastic" this place would shut DOWN.
Okay, wind...let's not get carried away
Twitter was down?? What was the Richter? Hope you guys are ok...
It's so cute how people don't think I have anything to do but THEM.
If you want me to follow someone, don't tell me, don't pound eff eff, just retweet them. That's it. Easy peasy.
It did not occur to me til after the foreigners brought it up, that only Americans celebrate Thanksgiving....
It's weird how much we take hot water for granted.
I will steal your hearts and you won't care...
I used to do Tebow...oh. Wait. Maybe that was Tae Bo. Nevermind.
If I wasn't entertained by a tweet, I just move on. It's sad to see you get hung up on one so much that you have to bash it. -to anyone
Dear young, Afro-American man who just flashed me, THANK YOU for making my Monday anything but ordinary.
Humor rescues me from the dumb people. Kids save my life.