#SaveLeda i know most of my followers will think this is retarded but i love her lol she doesn't deserve thisss

i literally cannot flirt in person. my idea of flirting is saying really mean things for no reason

wow you called someone irrelevant we should applaud you for your very original insult

#MessageToMyEx you made me the way i am and im pretty annoying now so fuck you

grab somebody sexy tell em you're the father of my child

i hate living in texas because every other state thinks we're a bunch of redneck homophobes like NO SOME OF US AREN'T IDIOTS I SWEAR

its just that you make my insides all happy and i know i wont ever be able to do the same for you and for that i am sorry.

ur vagina is wider than queen latifahs ass

am i the only one who doesnt like little kids?

I really want a guy best friend that is always there for me... Also he has to let me kiss him occasionally

Like hey if you wanted to know what it's like to lay next to me w/ the lights on here ya go pic.twitter.com/O5phxSdfod

favourite if you can see this pleeeasse

Plot twist: the little Asian ladies doing your nails are actually saying very nice things about you

cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes, cause emo is one step below transvestite

my heart doesnt start hurting when i see something i didnt want to see my stomach just kinda disappears and i want to vomit

i feel like i look better in skinny jeans than shorts

it seriously pisses me off when people touch you for no reason like umm excuse you get your fucking hand off my shoulder

My Puerto Rican wife got fat.

If someone asked me out as an April fools joke I'd probably be like "lol no we're dating now you are MINE"

sometimes i just feel like the first slice of bread that everyone is disgusted by