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2 separate sx's: 1 for ppl who love music so much it hurts & 1 for ppl who want a background beat while they talk shit abt Sheryl from work.
NYPD, you look kind of silly protecting a park just because some power-crazed millionaire told you to. #ows #followingordersisnotanexcuse
Sometimes you are so stressed out at work you have to take a break to look up pictures of David Duchovny's many beards and critique them.
A mashup of Walking Dead & Memento where people forget everything about zombies each day oh wait that exists it's called The Walking Dead.
I wish we had some kind of list of rights that included freedom to assemble & protection from unreasonable search & seizure. #occupyportland
I made the mistake of being awesome & now everyone thinks I can do everything for them & I'm really stressed out. #activateunderachievermode
I think it's time we all come clean and admit to Alex Jones that we're all actors and his life is The Truman Show.
Kansas legislature debating bill to change state motto from "Kansas: At least we're not Arizona" to "Kansas: Sometimes we're good at sports"
IT guy trying to convince me to try this bizarro cult he joined. They "get up early" to "go to the gym". NO THANK YOU I AM NOT A COMMUNIST
Dear Earth: Please do not swallow the midwest into your core. What will the rest of us fly over when we're trying to get to places?
I'm either an evil, emotionless human being, or I'm a robot. #progressive #atheist #logical #historynerd #bookjunkie #rubikscubist #excelninja #evilgenius #asd