Take a bite of my bad girl meat.

To tell you or not to tell you, that is the question.

I just read that alcohol does not kill brain cells. In that case, drink the fuck up you pussy.

I can't wait to go to bed, because fuck being awake and shit.

What will it take to disappear?

I was @'d and asked if I wanted to know my past life. Chances are I was a whiskey-pukin' pirate who sailed the Black Pearl..in Disneyworld.

Watching Hairspray makes me want to inhale aerosol.

Bon Jovi is endorsing Advil now. My mom will probably be buying a lifetime supply of it now.

Approximately 80 people are masturbating somewhere within a 75km radius of you.

I'm getting arrested for fondling my guitar. She was Aminor.

If you can't forgive and forget, pick one.

Fuck each and every one of you. Literally, line up. Let's fuck.

I've lost myself again.

Sometimes I'm stuck wondering "where did it all go wrong?"

I feel like I'm getting sicker, and sicker every day.

Fun fact: I primarily take shots using my right hand.

What the fuck is juice?

I signed my mother and I up to attend an "anxiety info" class. This should be an interesting bonding experience.

I have this overwhelming urge to be productive, but there's nothing to be accomplished.

Ready or not, here I come.