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If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck glue some hoofs on that thing and call it beef! -taco bell president
My mom asked my dad where they went wrong with me. He told her the first pancake never turns out right
Jesus dosent have a facebook
Tampons, knee braces, body wash. Hmm I wonder if the lady at dollar general lady thinks im crazy, normal, or a roller dirby chic with pms?!
Happy valentines day to all the fat girls! Hell somebodys gunna get drunk and love ya. Don't worry
I going to have to kill these shitty country singers. there's just no other way around it.
We got a thing that's called the red eye love!
I find it hard to believe that nobody has smacked taylor swift yet. Dolly just had a clear shot! But she didn't take it. #damnshame
Jerry lee lewis wrote "their all to ugly tonight" after wynonna judds dick touched his leg during a blowjob
Ill pray for you is the christian way of sayin go fuck yourself
Once there was this spider in my bed. Got tangled in his web
Can't put this possum in a cage
They have beavers the size of bobcats!
Also lord id like to thank you for that 3.1 million dollars whooa I love that money!
Ill slap the snot out of you then ill whoop your ass for havin a runny nose
Im sick of people askin me shit now. Im done with it. Lol fuck em right like I care what they think. Stupid iggets
I take back the good dresser taylor swift. I just like your boots.
Dear sweet little baby jesus I just want to thank you for this meal of taco bell and kfc
The big lebowskis on but I have no shrooms ;( still a good flic anyways
Its funny how things hurt