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  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Who are you to tell me that ASAP doesn't mean "as slow as possible", the fucking captain of acronyms?

    • 85
    • FAVS
    StarFunkMe____urther_mewritesgoodLooseleaf84aassaf84FredPollackZingingCutieAaaaaarroooonnn
    • 36
    • RETWEETS
    AbeeGeorgina______kuurriLooseleaf84L33smythaassaf84rheinzwbenefitsZingingCutieathensnix
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Today's forecast looks like a full overcast of "fuck this" and a 70% chance of alcohol before noon.

    • 48
    • FAVS
    StarFunkMe____urther_Cynner777mrtruthandsoulpedroreisinhoAshleyJw28KaceInPoint______qweename
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    mrtruthandsoulviciousbabydollMidgetsparbaldkittieYeaImCarterSarcasmo718DatBarberCanCutkidelko
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Being a pretentious asshole is way more fun than you'd think. You wouldn't understand, though.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    StarFunkMe____urther_Cynner777KaceInPoint______QuadCityRunnercurlymalloyShaunNaNaDTheBaconBoobies__
    • 17
    • RETWEETS
    StarFunkMe____lilasiandevil39SlayerSays________PartlykiddingdroobydoobydooZoltTranlonMrMikeSherryJoshApproved
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    So apparently playing Pokémon while driving is illegal? I didn't know I was in THE SOVIET UNION.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    StarFunkMe____Eatingmealsurther_nobesbenStavvieGMidgetsparVeroniKaboomlocoharleyrider
    • 15
    • RETWEETS
    StarFunkMe____peytonnnnstarrDubVGJ____________elijg23______MidgetsparlostintheworldxSuperStripersfavstar_pop
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    I spell out all of my words because contractions are for pregnant women.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    urther_Cynner777curlymalloyShaunNaNaDTheBaconBoobies__JihadPizzaDeanB15zachheltzel
    • 11
    • RETWEETS
    VenusPenisSirFlushaLotLtFrankDrebbinhatsoptionalTallerThanATreeMidgetsparpashkiesfavstar_pop
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Look Ma, no friends.

    • 26
    • FAVS
    PocahotnasleashaletteFeisty_WomanJew_Unit03lsfff____________gottahavheartSirFlushaLotrudegal1969
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    PocahotnasJew_Unit03gottahavheartDownsouthcaseySirFlushaLotTheRealGearismochanyaMyTrueStory328
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    You can only listen to dubstep for so long until you forget what you're doing and start mindlessly beating people to death with your fists.

    • 37
    • FAVS
    StarFunkMe____urther_Cynner777pedroreisinhoKaceInPoint______nobesbenShaunNaNaDpoe927
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    nobesbenMidgetsparmeghan_fisher1keefers323ThatGirlSloaneMadManAzfullblowndaveSkulled
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Hey honey, could you pick up a jar of suck my dick on your way home? Also, your mom called.

    • 28
    • FAVS
    urther_SoNotBrendanBoyCalledAnnOut_The_BackcurlymalloyShaunNaNaDTheBaconBoobies__JihadPizza
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    Out_The_Backjay_snider________EggsSmokesExMoondog672_bossnovaAndLive2LoveButter_bumpsMidgetspar
    TheBaconBoobies__
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Showing the girl at the McDonalds drive-thru your penis does not result in free McDonalds.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    JustMugtorieannesaltfullblowndavepizza_lustmohit36244pukingvaginaRipperReedStayGoldenGurl
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    _ericaabooJustMugmacswajthehovahslapBloatedCarcassTreeWalrus________zetsubou_proth____TheBaconBoobies__
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    got drunk on hand sanitizer at ikea once

    • 11
    • FAVS
    DaveFlaherty03arrrghbriannatinuhuhuh________mrtruthandsouleldomitchStayGoldenGurlTarahdise__________candypants
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    mrtruthandsoulaaronasellarsSam_Perkins123TheBaconBoobies__STSlattery__Lizziefro
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Kinda neat how people can name their dogs human names nowadays and sometimes shoot their wife and kids and then themselves.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    B0MBS_____________JustMugrtichokesurther_ScottLinnenfizzlestothetop__
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    B0MBS_____________JustMugrtichokesurther_STSlattery__
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Funny how everything seems to make more sense when you're sitting in your own blood at a Wendy's drivethru

    • 6
    • FAVS
    B0MBS_____________BuzzquotesJustMugHotlinkStrahotaAlex_N_ChainsRealPrincessKim
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    AshiiRaeeB0MBS_____________JustMugEatingmealsHotlinkStrahota
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Autocorrect is a mother ducking piece of shot.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    urther_mariesFATjeansB_poling82BoyCalledAnnbdbdleeroybrownjociejonesMyMonkeyTouchRodrigoH80
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    MyMonkeyTouchCayGee14BeccaDaneaultSimplyRoguey______SeesawLicker
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Why was the boy sad?

    He had a frog stapled to his face.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    zachheltzelb_khalifaYayForJamjeffporperScottLinnen_odlanyeRMidgetspardonni
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    SmileSisyphusjeffporperJWoRm17barahcudda______VenusPenis
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Siri, send Katy Perry another lock of my hair with the words "I love you" cut out of an old newspaper.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    RealPrincessKimurther_fullblowndavethereverendcinkstasdaraibeMRm____parruchkinvonngilmore
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    ibeMRm____urther_ArabAnticsMidgetsparBrianLeonVogt
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Simon Cowell said "I'm not finished with Paula Abdul". I think it's because she's still alive. He's british you know.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    thereverendcinkjohngayseeStephenBCramerburgerkrangaleneparrVoiceOfReason25Aspersioncastnitvys
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    Hannah3042dafemqiaodariavorontsovaalanafantiniSportycb
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    My first move as president would be to outlaw casserole because seriously what the fuck is that shit?

    • 33
    • FAVS
    urther_ShaunNaNaDnicfit75meagomyeggoJihadPizzaThatGirlSloaneTheBaconBoobies__bombscribe
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    MidgetsparbritshizmeagomyeggofullblowndaveSaraESpivey
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    Your name is Chris Brown #reasonstobeatyourgirlfriend

    • 5
    • FAVS
    JesseWellerStephenBCramervxlkIscofGOREjess0
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    GOREjess0coachsalmondT_Kenzie13Lyssa_Cheychelsea_fynan
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    supercalifragalisticexpialaDOPE-SHIT

    • 6
    • FAVS
    fancypantsesqCatherineinALJustMugHeatherMarie_MZomBee86JoblessSamurai
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    JustMugZomBee8620Ellis20JoblessSamurai
  • itsBRACKS
      Bracks @itsBRACKS

    I'd say lets cuddle but I don't really cuddle I just awkwardly shrivel and grope and squirm.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    BuzzquotesJustMugrtichokesHotlinkStrahotaurther_
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    JustMugrtichokesHotlinkStrahotaurther_
@itsBRACKS

@itsBRACKS

R.I.P. aaliyah http://t.co/7Z60W6V1nt