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If you're born in September, it's pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.
It's unbelievable how many problems go away by simply ignoring them and going to sleep.
911: What`s your emergency? Me: "Two girls are fighting over me." 911: "OK,"..... "Well what`s the problem?" Me: "The fat one is winning."
Saw a Chinese kid and a black kid wave to each other today. It gave me hope...for another Rush Hour movie...
When I get sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead, True story. Parody account no affiliation with How I Met Your Mother. firstname.lastname@example.org