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Annoyed by all these foods that disguise fruit and vegetables for kids. Make them sit and eat! That's what my mom did.
My husband has been away for so damn long I just changed a lightbulb all by myself.
"Don't forget. Just because you're offended, it doesn't mean you're right." Ricky Gervais.
Dear skinny girl sitting next to me at the movies. You cannot sing. Stop proving it. Thank you, that is all
TV character to her husband: "Say my three favorite words." Me, to the TV: "You're not fat."
If I made a sex tape it would be of me on the couch eating chocolate, drinking Rooibos tea and watching HBO. What? To me that IS orgasmic
As a child, somebody should've told me that "Not by the hair on my chinny chin chin!" was a foreboding of my #menopause experience
I grew up in South Africa. I know racism when I see it. The far right should be ashamed. Their God is ashamed of *them*, I guarantee that
More women die from heart disease than anything else. So the Aspirin ad focusing on a man who calls them "the widow maker" can fuck off.
Their = belongs to them. They're = They are. It's their daughter. They're very proud of her. #MessageToMorons
Dear local politicians. How about you tell us what YOU stand for rather than what's wrong with the other guy? Any fool can sling mud
Note to self: If you find an old boat up the Amazon with a door welded shut, don't fucking open it.
Yes, I am just a little itty bitty crazy. I am bitchy, sarcastic, over 40 and love my Fluffy Bear and furkids. My alteregos: @puppydogdiaries & @politicasualty