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Edison in the streets, Tesla in the sheets.
If there's an oil spill, the 52% of people that didn't vote should be in charge of cleaning it up.
I never went to university but from what I gathered from the brochures there's a lot of lying on your back on the grass in a circle
The conservatives are partying at science world. Seems ironic they would do it in a place that supports arts, science, and education.
One of the hardest parts of my job is trying to convince drunk people to listen to me talk about Dinosaurs for 5 minutes.
Whenever I'm by myself in a room I will periodically say out loud "you're the worst ninja" just in case there are any ninjas.
Sometimes I wear a suit and ride a Vespa because occasionally i like to look like a magazine ad for very thin cigarettes
People in Vancouver are NUTS happy this week. The sun comes out for 3 days in a row and everyone starts acting like they're on MDMA
7-11 really throws the word "fresh" around and I don't think they understand what it means at all.
Poem about the snooze button:
Let me descend once more into the realm of sleep. Ever fleeting. the only place I
New Years day should be the one time that McDonald's sells breakfast for the entire day.
Just remember: Spiders don't take holidays. Stay vigilant everyone.
Award-winning Comedian / Tiger Uppercut Enthusiast / Recalcitrant. Star of Young Doctor Octopus. Based in Vancouver.
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