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If this were a horror movie Britain is the guy who just said "we should split up. We'll cover more ground that way"
Edison in the streets, Tesla in the sheets.
If there's an oil spill, the 52% of people that didn't vote should be in charge of cleaning it up.
Sometimes I stay in the same hotel as the audience and when I leave in the morning an old lady yells "THANKS FOR LAST NIGHT" at me.
Walking home late at night has gotten a lot safer since pokemon go. Cut through the park there are 50 eyewitnesses in there.
I never went to university but from what I gathered from the brochures there's a lot of lying on your back on the grass in a circle
People in Vancouver are NUTS happy this week. The sun comes out for 3 days in a row and everyone starts acting like they're on MDMA
The conservatives are partying at science world. Seems ironic they would do it in a place that supports arts, science, and education.
One of the hardest parts of my job is trying to convince drunk people to listen to me talk about Dinosaurs for 5 minutes.
Whenever I'm by myself in a room I will periodically say out loud "you're the worst ninja" just in case there are any ninjas.
Award-winning Comedian / Tiger Uppercut Enthusiast / Recalcitrant. Star of Young Doctor Octopus. Based in Vancouver.
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