Best quote from zoo today: "mom checkout the monkeys or whatever the fuck in here" - a full grown man in reference to the meerkat exhibit.

House centipedes are actually just wild mustaches that will take their place on the upper lip of a dad the day their first child is born.

Take me down to the minecraft city, where the grass is cubes and the girls are cubes.

A man also asked me to identify a bird on the path for him. It was a male peacock with its colors showing. I wish I wouldve just said turkey

All flags in MI to be held at half staff tomorrow for @rare_basement's departure. salute flag while screaming YOLO before raising at sunset

new year new me *sheds exoskeleton*

#whoa @dudehugs is serenading @rare_basement via karaoke http://t.co/e6V7hzcR

sigur ros. sigur chandler. sigur monica. sigur phoebe. sigur joey. sigur rachel.

#iWannaGiveAShoutoutTo Plants. Props for giving us life giving oxygen through photosynthesis. That shit cray.

you shouldn't be allowed to own a dog if you can't readily replace all lyrics of any song to be about your dog.

Young Jeezy saying "yeaaahhhh" while watching the deathstar explodes on episode IV

.@dudehugs & @rare_basement Ignition remix karaoke duet. http://t.co/ENP7VJUt

who wants me to use the dumb app I found to make your avatar into Santa cause this is the gift that keeps on giving

@rare_basement I'm Gonna be a juggalo in ur honor to rep Michigan for us

@othersome years used Lysol: ☐ 1 yr ☐ 2 year ☐ 3+ yr ☑ E M B A L M ME WITH LYSOL

vanity plate alert @dudehugs pic.twitter.com/LZqOhKyv

ME AND @chrissaysfuck ARE DOWN WITH THE CLOWN THIS HALLOWEEEN. CC: @rare_basement pic.twitter.com/vUaflBIw

I think the Mona Lisa smirks because she knows exactly what the rock is cooking

@rare_basement & 6/9 is .666 repeating so it's Hell dude approved

Say "THIS COULD BE IT" with a serious demeanor before any action #lifehacks