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Best quote from zoo today: "mom checkout the monkeys or whatever the fuck in here" - a full grown man in reference to the meerkat exhibit.
House centipedes are actually just wild mustaches that will take their place on the upper lip of a dad the day their first child is born.
Take me down to the minecraft city, where the grass is cubes and the girls are cubes.
A man also asked me to identify a bird on the path for him. It was a male peacock with its colors showing. I wish I wouldve just said turkey
new year new me *sheds exoskeleton*
Young Jeezy saying "yeaaahhhh" while watching the deathstar explodes on episode IV
I think the Mona Lisa smirks because she knows exactly what the rock is cooking
sigur ros. sigur chandler. sigur monica. sigur phoebe. sigur joey. sigur rachel.
#iWannaGiveAShoutoutTo Plants. Props for giving us life giving oxygen through photosynthesis. That shit cray.
you shouldn't be allowed to own a dog if you can't readily replace all lyrics of any song to be about your dog.
who wants me to use the dumb app I found to make your avatar into Santa cause this is the gift that keeps on giving
thanks for being there for me, three six mafia
i want someone to scream bazinga at me so loudly that an atom splits in my body
I am thee ghost of alan borland.
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