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Best quote from zoo today: "mom checkout the monkeys or whatever the fuck in here" - a full grown man in reference to the meerkat exhibit.
House centipedes are actually just wild mustaches that will take their place on the upper lip of a dad the day their first child is born.
Take me down to the minecraft city, where the grass is cubes and the girls are cubes.
A man also asked me to identify a bird on the path for him. It was a male peacock with its colors showing. I wish I wouldve just said turkey
new year new me *sheds exoskeleton*
sigur ros. sigur chandler. sigur monica. sigur phoebe. sigur joey. sigur rachel.
#iWannaGiveAShoutoutTo Plants. Props for giving us life giving oxygen through photosynthesis. That shit cray.
you shouldn't be allowed to own a dog if you can't readily replace all lyrics of any song to be about your dog.
Young Jeezy saying "yeaaahhhh" while watching the deathstar explodes on episode IV
who wants me to use the dumb app I found to make your avatar into Santa cause this is the gift that keeps on giving
I think the Mona Lisa smirks because she knows exactly what the rock is cooking
Say "THIS COULD BE IT" with a serious demeanor before any action #lifehacks