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Until babies talk old at each other like "have a good one", all revolutions are just practice.
head of the meat department at kroger goes h.a.m.
I'm gonna sit in my front yard and yell at kids all afternoon
run me over with the lawn mower today
if you haven't trained your dog to maul you when you march towards him making mech sounds can you really say you're prepared
stop FUCKING calling me "EPIc Divorce Man", or i will terminate my pogo account and take my tokens wiht me. i am not a MEME, im a HUMAN BEIg
i was the winner of the of 2008's Gayest Dad Award. id like to thank my many obese sons for making this possible
i literally can't tell what's supposed to be funny about that "viral" video of the guy who called the cops on berry's abductors
i did not do a song on the new daft punk album because i am scared of robots
how much is a spaceship i am sure i can afford 1
sit in a comfortable position with your arm and legs uncrossed. close your eyes real tight. now envision a dad calling his son "honey"
"if you fall off the roof, you're fired before you hit the ground"
"Marine Corp drunk is still better than army strong"