Until babies talk old at each other like "have a good one", all revolutions are just practice.

head of the meat department at kroger goes h.a.m.

@kennywinekoff that man is me

I'm gonna sit in my front yard and yell at kids all afternoon

run me over with the lawn mower today

Comedian Kurt Braunohler hired a sky writer to do this over LA  http://i.imgur.com/rI6o1rH.jpg 

if you haven't trained your dog to maul you when you march towards him making mech sounds can you really say you're prepared

@hermit_thrush you will not fuck in 2013 and everyone who favs this agrees with me

stop FUCKING calling me "EPIc Divorce Man", or i will terminate my pogo account and take my tokens wiht me. i am not a MEME, im a HUMAN BEIg

i was the winner of the of 2008's Gayest Dad Award. id like to thank my many obese sons for making this possible

i literally can't tell what's supposed to be funny about that "viral" video of the guy who called the cops on berry's abductors

@realdonaldtrump you are a sociopath

i did not do a song on the new daft punk album because i am scared of robots

New I Speak In Calculus rules @ivanthefargo

how much is a spaceship i am sure i can afford 1

sit in a comfortable position with your arm and legs uncrossed. close your eyes real tight. now envision a dad calling his son "honey"

who knew  https://vine.co/v/b2h6lEizLQ2 

.@troycrossley damn dude... this picture looks photoshopped. It's a picture of you rapping and people are enjoying it.

"if you fall off the roof, you're fired before you hit the ground"

"Marine Corp drunk is still better than army strong"