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My mom didn't even give birth to me. I was just removed via C-section which is the ultimate Mothers Day gift: a non-ruined vagina
A black dude doing summer sales came to Josh's ... Anyway, he's hittin the bong with us now 😂😂
Guess who doesn't give a shit about the pictures you took at the Festival of Colors??
Hint: it's me
Tayler Cutrubus is going to heaven no if's and's or but's.
Even if God isn't real. She's going.
Killed Josh's fish (as a joke), knocked over the beer pong table, broke the bong, spilled gin everywhere... I'm so fun to party with!
"I hope this is just a stupid comment and you already know this, but you are not taking marijuana on the plane to Italy." - my mom 😑
All the funny shit you see on twitter was posted on Tumblr like 4 months earlier 👐 just sayin...
When I went to Catholic school our counselor told us people can die from having 1 drink of alcohol so maybe that's why I dont trust religion
Some dude just rode past me on a bike on Webers campus and wasn't using his handle bars.
Needless to say, my panties evaporated immediately.
Happy Valentines Day, everyone.
Hope you get your dicks wet.
All I want for my birthday is a big booty girl that respects herself
...and yeah I got a lil tipsy and twerked on the wall in the hotel lobby. Sue me.
Everyone is so fuckin lame
I'm so protective of people it's stupid.
Okay but answer this: How are snails born?
Yeezus is one of my favorite albums
Forever attracted to 80's Madonna
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