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'If the prosthetic leg didn't fit, YOU MUST ACQUIT.' - Me as Oscar Pistorius's lawyer. 'Sir, that made no sense. Please sit down.' - Judge.
Wow. @davidwondrich & @esquiremag named @rooseveltrva one of the best bars in America. That's a tough list to make. http://www.esquire.com/_mobile/blogs/food-for-men/best-bars-in-america-2014?src=spr_TWITTER&spr_id=1456_60743849 …
Everyone's all FUCK YEAH SKRILLEX in RVA! Meanwhile I'm listening to Paul Simon and telling people to lower their voices in bars. Damn kids.
I'm for a GWAR statue on Monument Ave. Have a stream of water (or whatever) coming out of Oderus's prosthetic. You know, something tasteful.
B/c you people are disgusting, @fireballwhisky is now a top-10 selling liquor in RVA. Let's discuss in @styleweekly- http://www.styleweekly.com/PunchDrunk/archives/2014/07/22/punch-drunk …
Paul Simon arrested on domestic violence charges? Really? There's a 50 ways to leave your lover joke here, but I'm a gentleman.
Hit a possum this AM. Couldn't avoid it. Ugh. He had just moved his kid to college too, and then here comes Jack, playing god in his Altima.
Those in the know go out drinking on seis de Mayo. Cinco is too corporate now.
All these crazy and 'fun' ways to open wine bottles on FB. A boot? Really?! How about you just always have a wine key handy, you heathens.
Columnist for @StyleWeekly / Morning Show Voice on @1037Play / Bartender For Money
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