Starting the brunch shift off strong with an aggressive Buble Christmas mix. Oh, table 6 doesnt approve? Table 6 can go shit in their hand.

I once saw @charliemassie wearing a Redskin's hockey jersey - in a bar - where people were congregating. Let that sink in. Re-read that.

I'm regaining control of my life this week. Today: I'm getting out of bed before 4 PM. Tommorow: I'll shower. Wed: Cry less.

If a cop rolls up to my door and says, 'you that boy that that's been insulting people on Twitter?' I might shit my pants with laughter.

You know who else has been dormant? Afro-Cuban American singer/songwriter Jon Secada. I hope he comes back too. That's just good music.

Best #Tedxrva speech thus far? @jaycocks (mostly) unintelligible rant about condoms being 'the devil's work'. It was moving, poignant.

Having a cocktail at Baileys for @cafedarkness's b-day. She's not invited, but I wanted her to know that I was thinking about her, briefly.

'Soooo, we sticking with the 'Ryan Gosling' this month?' - My stylist. 'You know the answer to that.' (Wink at her in the mirror) - Me.

Tracy Chapman just came on @1037river. Ugh. I blame @dash1037river. That guy loves soft lesbian rock. LOVES IT.

Jon Secada never left. Jon Secada has always been there. There when you need him the most.

Been told that my John Mayer cover band is the best in Richmond. It's like, the accolades are nice, but I really only care about the music.

Looks like @jasonroop had a blast DJ'ing the Navy party this weekend! pic.twitter.com/4QzoloiR

Out pretending there's no tomorrow, pulling the 'I'm still 29' card. I can already taste the hangover. Tastes like shit.

You have a James Taylor CD in your car at this exact moment. But sure, go ahead and make fun of Matchbox 20. @jasonroop

@cafedarkness Don't forget that Mike Vick aka 'Ron Mexico' also gave herpes to an entire generation of Va Tech co-eds.

Is there new groundbreaking footage of sharks? Are they doing sign language and wearing bowties now? A 'shark-day' would probably suffice.

Jason Musick in a nutshell - has hot girlfriend, amateur comedian, good hair, decent middle hitter. @wondermonkey78

'He enjoyed booze, guns, cars and younger women until the day he died.' Coolest obit ever - http://t.co/W6UqZ4r8

'Beautiful weather out here at @thehalliganbar for Throwin' Back w/ Jack and @1037river!' (A cow goes flying by in the background)

Music video for Daft Punk's next single is just a running loop of Ryan Gosling refusing to eat his cereal? (Internet explodes, time stops)