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Saw a product at Trader Joes called "Peppermint Slims" but thought it said "Peppermint Slums," the dodgiest part of the Candyland board.
I stand by my theory that a Princess Zelda / Princess Peach team-up adventure game could put Nintendo back on top.
Now that Senate Democrats have gone Nuclear, Senate Republicans are threatening to go nucular.
Look to the stars to see your future. Your future is matter violently dissipating into a widening void.
You know who else had “social media expert” in their profile? Hitler.
Only you can regret the forest fires you started.
Compromise, thy name is Pants.
COFFEE TO BLOOD REPLACEMENT 70% COMPLETE
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Is "Top Ramen" really the 'top' ramen? They all taste the same really.
My wife and I never argue about directions anymore. Now we just yell at the Google Maps lady.
#1: The best revenge is not giving a shit.
This pizza tastes so bad, they should name it after that cement slab they put over graves. What’s that thing called again?
adj. going better than expected, though perhaps not perfectly; copacetic n. a California native who likes engineering, social media, rain