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The mayans didn't account for daylight savings. The world actually ended a few months ago. Just thought everyone should know.
Twitter is an anthropologists dream.
Dear republicans in congress, Now that you lost, please stop shooting down job bills to destroy Obama...it's time to get to work, vultures.
Cigarettes that whiten your teeth.
Today is Donald Trumps big announcement! I hope he admits he was born rich Romney style and shuts the fuck up about hard work.
What we learned today. Everyone has their own struggles. We need to stop only seeing ours, and see everyone's. we are all in this together.
I know how to gain followers. Which is why I can't.
I never wanted to be a mime,but I think I would have been great. These men in this public restroom REALLY believed I WAS washing my hands.
Ten bucks the shooter was on anti depressants.
Hey jake, get a twitter, we'll get together... Have a few laughs...