Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Teenagers keep asking for my twitter name, I always wonder what they'll do with it that's better than the bad jokes I make when I'm drunk.
Just for the record, Jalex is my actual name. Like. It's my real life name. It's what they yell when I order coffee at Starbucks!
Let's Fix Soccer: Players can use their hands, but only to swat away the swarm of bees that has been released on the field. #LetsFixSoccer
Mitt Romney looks like what would result when you ask a child to draw a President.
I biked a 10k in 17 minutes. That's like 21 mph! Why would I ever buy a car?!
It's Eurovision day!!! Who's ready for the craziest European stuff imaginable!!
Going to sleep single for the last time ever. Tomorrow is the big day!
I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes, sayin "Ayyyyooo! I want some maaaayo!"
My friend just called me and asked me to explain to his Earth Science class, via speakerphone, how Superman turned back time. I obliged.
The Ikeans use every part of the fiber board.
The amount of fitness anyone should strive for is "not looking dumpy in a tshirt and jeans". If you get that, cool. Enjoy some carnitas.
Other countries are not our "opportunities" they are places where people live, with cultures and histories completely separate from the US.
This whole wedding thing is great. We should do it more often.