Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Let's Fix Soccer: Players can use their hands, but only to swat away the swarm of bees that has been released on the field. #LetsFixSoccer
Mitt Romney looks like what would result when you ask a child to draw a President.
I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes, sayin "Ayyyyooo! I want some maaaayo!"
My friend just called me and asked me to explain to his Earth Science class, via speakerphone, how Superman turned back time. I obliged.
Other countries are not our "opportunities" they are places where people live, with cultures and histories completely separate from the US.
The amount of fitness anyone should strive for is "not looking dumpy in a tshirt and jeans". If you get that, cool. Enjoy some carnitas.
You know what amazes me? In Irish bars, IN ACTUAL IRELAND, you'll still hear "Jump Around".
I wonder who Prince votes for. Probably whichever candidate has more groovesex.
If he doesn't win, Mitt Romney has a long career ahead of him, playing the president in action movies.
Lorraine is a SUUUUUUPER ethnic name when you're Mitt Romney.
I can genuinely not wait for Vice President Biden to say something crazy. He's my hero.
If these guys dont behave, Jim Lehrer is not going to give them any Werther's Originals.
Just booked the plane tickets, so it's official: I'm moving to Ireland in November!
Seriously, the trek for me to get coffee is Tolkeinian in nature. Also there's talking trees.
Whenever you buy embarrassing items, condoms, enema kits, etc. Always ask for a gift receipt. That way they won't now it's for you.