I've already started drinking water from the toilet so it won't be such a shock to my system if I have to do it 12 hours from now. #irene

@scobleizer Please take a moment to look at these 5 pics and see which one looks best with it's camera app: http://jmsplng.me/gqOhAr

I wonder what lie teachers are telling kids now that "you won't be carrying a calculator around with you everywhere" has been disproven.

@dustin_rhodes1 How about if you're taking a shit? You cool with that?

Five hours of testimony later, still watching. She comes off as really annoying and unlikable.

@raffi That’s actually from the test jump he did at a lower altitude. This is from today’s record breaking jump. http://t.co/YDtKyFWI

@iamcodyross How many are in Fenway tonight? #justsaying

@harrymccracken You want a delicious meal. You buy the ingredients and cook it yourself = Android. You go to a nice restaurant = iPhone.

NYPD Officer Sent To Psych Ward By Superiors After Reporting Corruption http://t.co/fTcqvQjA

I just started using the My6Sense app and...wow, I am very impressed. Wish I had started using it sooner.

@msnbc I think we've moved past "fearing" an Orwellian society right to living in one.

Why I switched to T-Mobile and why you should at least consider it  http://wp.me/p3qRDH-3B 

@chronic I owe you an apology sir. RT @eyewitnessnyc: Mayor Bloomberg: expect to be without mass transit for Monday morning commute

Serena Williams Posts the Sexiest Twitter Profile Pic Ever and Douchebag Tennis Writer Goes and Ruins It http://jmsplng.me/ktBQdS

White Guy Shooting = Crazy; Brown Guy Shooting = Terrorist http://post.ly/1TJ3A

BREAKING: Amazon Pulls Down it’s How to Be a Pedophile Book after a Social Media Sh*t Storm of Backlash http://nblo.gs/apupC

Chris Hansen is doing God's work by exposing all of these pedophile hitmen mechanics trying to sell babies on Craigslist. #dateline

I will never respect Mayweather as much as he possibly deserves simply because he has avoided Pacquiao for all these years.

Josh Samman just got taught a lesson in overconfidence. Kelvin pretty easily put a rear naked choke on him. #tufc

iPhone 5 Wallpaper of Felix Baumgartner in His Capsule in Space  http://squids.in/RJhVVQ