@jane_bot's (Jane) recently faved Tweets...
My inner thigh needs a tattoo reading:
*No Lube Required.
in small print. The kind of small print you have to get super close to read.
*No Lube Required.
in small print. The kind of small print you have to get super close to read.
7
Sexual experimentation with popsicles is safe for all ages.
Trust me...if anything gets stuck, it just melts out anyways.
Trust me...if anything gets stuck, it just melts out anyways.
5
Thank god work funds my bottled water addiction or I'd be sipping tap water saying "YUCK" after each forced swallow.
[INSERT BJ JOKE HERE]
[INSERT BJ JOKE HERE]
2
The only difference between strip and stripe is that I haven't figured out how to stripe for money....yet.
7
Please refer to my actions as, "burglarizing". Otherwise my striped shirt, eye mask & flashlight will make it look like I'm trying too hard.
4
When I pick out bell peppers at grocery store, I make sure to buy the ones with the best "DING DONG" sound. Yes. I'm a ding-dong translator.
2
When I was little I ate all of the colored pieces to my LITE-BRITE® & was extremely disappointed when the doc's xray came out black & white.
10
Told coworker I thought I was getting sick when another coworker down hall yelled, "TOO LATE!" Pretty sure that needs to go on my demo reel.
3
MOM: "Jane. Don't use the F word. Or if you have to, use fudge."
ME: "Fuck with fudge? Whoa Mom."
MOM: "Nevermind.....use the F word."
ME: "Fuck with fudge? Whoa Mom."
MOM: "Nevermind.....use the F word."
9
I don't insult. I merely compliment your flaws. Stop being ungrateful, you efficient fat collector, you.
When you look into my eyes, it takes your breath away. "It" being my squeeze-loving-hands. You shouldn't have gotten this close...dummyface.
2
Finding a male employee to pass your lingerie to behind the counter at a Department Store always ensures a discount & a lot of um, um, um's.
5
Don't mistake my confidence for conceit. They’re two very different things and both prefer to be seen independently from the other.
7
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