Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 515
Followers: 695
Favs Given: 9,752
Favs Rec'd: 6,793
@jas508's (Julie) recent favourites. See who @jas508 favs the most...
Fitzright
Anyway, you can't judge an entire church just because there are a few thousand rotten apples.
@Fitzright
6
mlb_matospenblethjas508CosaMostroCroweJamFriedaClub
sween
If you think getting your period is worse than being hit in the nuts, just imagine it happening every MONTH.

What?

Really?

Huh.
@sween
plaid_lemur
I bet if Sarah Palin meditated her mantra would be Um.
@plaid_lemur
ruthakers
Shape magazine says to envision myself 'carved' in order to stay on my fitness track

All I can think is: 'I want to be carved of butter'
@ruthakers
baileygenine
It's not so much that I can't focus it's thaFOCus, FOCUS, foakus, foacuss, what a weird word.
@baileygenine
cravenheart
And don't even get me started on statements with no context.
@cravenheart
yuckyducky
I finally have that trophy wife I always wanted.

Her name?

Uhhhhhhh...Kennedy High School Women's Volleyball Champs '99. Why do you ask?
@yuckyducky
BillMc7
If I was a really good yodeler, the very first thing I'd do to get laid is NEVER yodel.
@BillMc7
ruthakers
What does it say about me that I read the Tiger texts, and all I could think was, "Dude doesn't know the difference between too, and to?"
@ruthakers
103
Toujours_DivaTerriSueWhoJohn_M15lafixberber55peterfitzwelMissPrissUSAkaseandannasmomakaperdanttrixiebootsBrain_Washmezer0wRickster_01kvanhcalifmom88VIEW
ALL
jasonmustian
I don't know, maybe we SHOULD run healthcare the way we run the Post Office. Losing cancer in the mail is just as good as curing it, right?
@jasonmustian
12
cravenheartjuicymorselWadetoBlackvanesenricolimcacoblueblazerregNerdy_Norakatherinecmjas508QuinnKdarkdraggonkellan_standley
jasonmustian
One day the Supreme Court will overturn Alien v. Predator. One day.
@jasonmustian
jasonmustian
I'm just a regular guy. I put my hollowed out camel carcass on one hump at a time.
@jasonmustian
7
Mystique1975vanestammyphinneyimaudiherebmerikalANDYVILLjas508
jasonmustian
So when's the last time Daryl Strawberry tried to break into your house? What's that? Never? You're welcome.
@jasonmustian
1
jas508
jasonmustian
Waiter said he was "disappointed" I didn't leave room for dessert. I was like WELL YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME! Then cranked up some AC/DC!
@jasonmustian
3
jollymrrogerquietworld9jas508
Punkrockie
I got 99 problems but an original joke isn't.. anywhere.. on the list..

*cough*

WHAT IS UP WITH THESE CHEATING HUSBANDS AMIRIGHT?!?
@Punkrockie
MrBigFists
I like to approach pregnant women, point at their feet and shout "Your tubes are untied!" As if they can even see their feet. Hilarious.
@MrBigFists
gunthergreen
When the surgeons go looking for my bowel obstruction, tell them it resembles a big piece of shepherd's pie and about 45 Swedish meatballs.
@gunthergreen
capricecrane
Miley Cyrus: "Country music's contrived."

Wait until her Word of the Day toilet paper gets to "irony."
@capricecrane
MrBigFists
You see a bottle of white-out and a sharpie. I see a clever disguise for my eyelids that allows me to take naps at my desk.
@MrBigFists
112
BettyLiesbonisteelCroweJamRyan_DuncanNikiWithIssuesHans_Brixxcrustyjuggler72HisTigerLilyAspiringBettyfussipussiTechJokestersha_sugastupenduA_N_G_E_L_I_N_Etammyphinney97VIEW
ALL
biblicone
With a high of 72 today, do I really have to go to work?
@biblicone
1
jas508
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar