Real life is more awesomer than fiction.

YOU GUYS. A co-worker's dtr got knocked up by her skeezy b-friend and registered for THIS at Babies-R-Us. For real. pic.twitter.com/dWB5uYa5N6

Bollywood dancing away Friday afternoon at work. As we do.

RED LIPSTICK.

I wish I could be as fearless as that crow in the middle of the street going after that road kill.

@isaaclubow RIGHT HERE!!! HI ISAAC! COME HERE!! *waving frantically through the crowd* *jumping up and down so you can see me*

@daniel_p_jones @elibraden No. I wish. :) he's a treasure (Eli, you're a treasure)

I love finding stuff like this from my 10 y/o. xoxo pic.twitter.com/WsEcAWOjKj

@angry_vet_ Congratulations though! :)

@hubbit you're do right, as usual :)

It's do annoying.

Number of times I have typed the word "so" without typoing it to "do": Zero.

Our PT with da mad Worcester accent divides people into 4 categories:
1. Rawk stah (the best)
2. Yahoo
3. Meatbawl
4. BUM

How many shows can I have as "guilty pleasures" before people realize that I just have bad taste in television?

IT'S HOT TODAY, YOU GUYS.
#weathertweet

I don't believe in matching socks.

(not that it was an option anyway)

@sergiovalenco Way ahead of you buddy. ;)

I just found @shittats. It makes me happy.

"This weekend. You. Me. Crest White-Strips"
-my 12y/o daughter

#thuglife

I don't swear when I drive but I do find myself using my scoldy mom-voice quite a bit.