@jascollins' (Ain't who you think.) most faved Tweets...
Not only have I grown up to be the sort of person your mother warned you about, I've done things with HER that would horrify you.
BLOCK... BLOCK... BLOCK... Botstomping would be WAY more fun if you could hear those little fuckers scream when you did it.
is there somewhere hashtags are listed? I got no clue what #MF is, it took me a while for #ff, etc. I did figure out #fuckoff myself though.
Dr Scholl's has "Rub Relief strips" now. Don't know about you, but when I want relief, that's not where the rubbing happens.
I misspell like one tweet in 10. but my @favstar looks more like one in 3. Apparently I'm only funny when I'm distracted. Look - a monkey!
Jody and I are watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD. I have determined that the central thesis of this show is "doctors are stupid."
This isn't really the "Dude, I feel your pain" kind of crowd... more like the "Let me GIVE you more pain" kind.
You KNOW she's got something special when you're not actually dating her and you STILL apologize for having coffee with someone else.
My 7-year-old and I were building Legos. I tickled him. He was not amused. "why don't you make yourself useful and help me find this part?"
A midlife crisis is very easy to understand: it's when your bucket list turns into an alarm clock. Unrelated: shopping Maseratis-BRB.
@HerCuteness If you see a lump under my covers I'd appreciate you not mentioning it. Unless you're interested....
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