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Not only have I grown up to be the sort of person your mother warned you about, I've done things with HER that would horrify you.
BLOCK... BLOCK... BLOCK... Botstomping would be WAY more fun if you could hear those little fuckers scream when you did it.
People are funny. It's a shame we're not allowed to point and laugh.
is there somewhere hashtags are listed? I got no clue what #MF is, it took me a while for #ff, etc. I did figure out #fuckoff myself though.
Dr Scholl's has "Rub Relief strips" now. Don't know about you, but when I want relief, that's not where the rubbing happens.
When I miss a day my on twitfeed it's like replying to War and Peace to catch up.
Got to go - I know you'll all miss me when I'm gone - I changed the settings on your laser scope.
Jody and I are watching Grey's Anatomy on DVD. I have determined that the central thesis of this show is "doctors are stupid."
You KNOW she's got something special when you're not actually dating her and you STILL apologize for having coffee with someone else.
Bleh. the days I get to be online for 10 minutes BUG me. This is no way to run an addiction!
This isn't really the "Dude, I feel your pain" kind of crowd... more like the "Let me GIVE you more pain" kind.
The child of a friend said "There is no Spoon...only Zuul." #doublenerdscore
I misspell like one tweet in 10. but my @favstar looks more like one in 3. Apparently I'm only funny when I'm distracted. Look - a monkey!
My 7-year-old and I were building Legos. I tickled him. He was not amused. "why don't you make yourself useful and help me find this part?"
A midlife crisis is very easy to understand: it's when your bucket list turns into an alarm clock. Unrelated: shopping Maseratis-BRB.
@hercuteness If you see a lump under my covers I'd appreciate you not mentioning it. Unless you're interested....
TMI is just the beginning.
