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Where, in the constitution, does it say that I can't stand unnecessarily close to strange women and smell their hair?
If a guy owns even one piece of Tapout gear, rest assured that he has never had the "the book was better than the movie" conversation.
No habla unfunny @stegasp @elconquistadork @adambation @sassypantssss @cheetohface @joanofsnark9
If you drive a white SUV, your kid's name probably has more vowels than it needs.
Irene is expected to make landfall at the Jersey Shore as a Category 1 and leave with a fake tan, sweet abs, and a shitty nickname.
If you put a wreath on the grill of your SUV during the holidays, keep your boring vagina away from me.
Mitt Romney: "I will act to repeal Obamacare, unless you guys want me to act like a monkey. In that case I can totally act like a monkey."
Facebook is the best thing to happen to the attention-starved since cutting.
Just had lunch at Taco Bell with a few others who have decided that avoiding diarrhea isn't a top priority.
It's trying to rain, but it just can't pull the trigger. Apparently this storm has some inclimacy issues.
Yo mamma so black that that shouldn't be an issue and we should all welcome diversity. #Boom
Aspiring Writer/Dreamer/Proud sinner
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