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I need to stay the hell away from FB. I can't fucking believe that anyone would defend Ray Rice after that video, yet half my "friends" are.
To ice cream or not to ice cream? Stupid question. Ice cream.
This kid just drew a smiley face on his ass with a fucking sharpie! I can't even handle my life right now!
My kid just unbuckled himself and jumped across the backseat to say hi to a girl. While I was driving. I'm not ready for this stage of life.
Have you ever just looked at someone and known without a doubt that their penis was as big as your pinky?
I just want to post "shut the fuck up, bitch" on every Facebook status on my TL.
Why do people post pictures of themselves in jail on Facebook? And why the fuck am I friends with these people?!
Tomorrow I will be more productive.
I try not to judge people by their tattoos but if you have tear drops under your eye I automatically assume you're going to try to kill me!
I am not above locking myself in the bathroom with a pint of ice cream so I don't have to share.
I'm being brave, silly. The trick is to be scarier than whatever's scaring you. –Thumper #orioles #ravens #Baltimore #IWantToBeAMermaid IG: jaxxepps
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