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@texdolly Marriage is like a deck of cards. In beginning, just need 2 hearts and a diamond. A few years later you'll want a club & spade.
@mybigblondelife Example: Telling me my cat picture is cute- Ok. Asking me to DM you a pic of me peeing- NOT ok.
@mrgeorgewallace While we're at it, let's all give it up for overhead projectors & rotary phones.
@saraespivey They do have that shirt! Saw it last year at the Race For the Cure:)
I love that @angie_harmon just called someone a douche. I also love that it was Kyle Busch.
Hopefully, the whole Papal coronation crowd won't show up with vuvuzelas. #argentina #soccerjoke #popefrancis
If I'm ever nominated for an #Oscar, I'm wearing a classy Dior gown, but with a shawl made out of live miniature wiener dogs.
Dear #BobCostas: Ask Chicago how gun control is working. I think they avg about 19 gun murders a month. By criminals who don't follow laws.
@mybigblondelife Wowza, girlfriend! Stop advertising for dates & just interview mayors for the town of Cleavageville. 😜
@mybigblondelife Ok...the birthday one cracked me up!!! Also, your boobs should really have their own zip code. #compliment
@rtech_justin @mybigblondelife She'd be entertaining at a root canal. Or vasectomy...whatever. 😜
@hallpass69 *immediately tries to recall if I've tweeted anything offensive in the last day* ;-)
@mybigblondelife Yeah...*sigh* We're buying MegaMillions tix. If I win, I'll buy ya into the WSOP ME and a big drink:)
@mybigblondelife Glad you could make it back for another day of politically incorrect jabs & button-pushing! 👍
So...#Snooki is pregnant??? That's the worst thing to happen to a baby since those E-Trade commercials.
@curlycomedy You're in Bloomington??? Just a tip: If anyone invites you to go up the road to Martinsville, don't go...it's a trap😳
This is quite possibly the funniest thing I've ever seen. #dorkdog pic.twitter.com/PIDU5NNX8r
Wife of Andy, Mommy of two adorable kiddos, Daughter of Christ, player of poker, DIY project enthusiast, Respiratory Therapy student & master of sarcasm:)
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