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I'm metrosexual. I love to fuck on trains.
I just peed so hard a little laugh came out.
I'm currently in bed, naked and touching myself. The staff of Furniture Village seem really pissed off.
Is it me or is modern music just degenerating into a pile of steaming horse shit?
Will you be my friend? I'm asking for a friend.
How do I feel about wind turbines? Not a big fan.
I don't recall Iron Man ever doing any ironing.
I have difficulty passing stools. That's why I can't go into bars.
I'm suicidal but horny. I'm going to stand on a cliff and toss myself off.
If the rapture actually takes place, on the minus side, as an atheist I'll be wrong, but on the plus side all the Christians will be gone.
I once lost my virginity down the back of the sofa.
I played Scrabble with Dolly Parton. She kept telling me off for looking at her rack.