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My wife's friend fell into her trash can when she was raking her yard. How is that even possible?!!
It is so exciting waiting to find out what the next song Pandora will play. Now I know how my mother felt when she was given birth to me.
My work email spell checker wanted to correct warehouse to whorehouse. Sweet!
When twitter says it's overcapacity I think that is it's polite way of saying it had to leave to take a deuce.
My 7 yr old daughter's dream is to be a cat lady. God help me. #serious
Don't you hate when your kids r following u and it really limits what you can post? I am going 2 unfollow me next time he forgets 2 logoff.
No I'm not following you just because of your hot Twitter pic. It's because of your hot twitter pic and you are funny!
How is it that my son knows every plane in Boeing's & Airbus' fleet but forgets what 2 x 2 equals
Watching Coen Brothers' movies and listening to Modest Mouse. That is all.