Nicki and Nas working together makes me want to projectile vomit on my keyboard.

Yeaaaa...... so this is where we're headed... pic.twitter.com/IpCY1JJL

I wish real life conversation had an end call button.

Stop. Grammar time.

Next debate question: "Mr Romney, do you know what it's like to microwave ramen?"

There's always money in the banana stand.

Dear autocorrect, stop capitalizing the word Dick. It is making sexting awkward.

@hbo "I thought you were the whore with a heart of gold.. turns out you have a regular old whores heart." #eastbound

All of the women who believe all guys are the same are fucking stupid. If it offends you, well............

On Twitter, it's wit vs tits. And tits usually win.

I purposefully like all of my exes sonogram photos on facebook.. heyo!

Some of the @ replies men send to women on here just proves they haven't gotten any pussy since the Reagan era. No type of game at all.

Obama took Ohio. Eat shit, Romney.

http://t.co/WJ7homsU

#ChrisDornerPlaylist To Live And Die In LA.

8 away from 800 and I've never shown tits. Boom!

I just removed the tag from my mattress and now I'm on the run.

Nicki Minaj looks like she just crawled out of Street Fighter.

The smell of firewood.

So, just think about this for a second. She has probably had 75 penises in or around her oral cavity.