Friends are like penguins. If you throw a polar bear at them, they die.

I saw a lady with 3 kids, a smoke in her mouth, and on her iPhone.. I just thought "wow what a terrible image you're setting.. For Apple"

WARNING if you see an email saying, "2 free tickets to Justin Beiber", DO NOT open it! It contains 2 free tickets to Justin Beiber!

Skype + Microsoft = Sky.net

Admit it. At one point in your life, you stuck a soccer ball in your shirt and said you were pregnant.

This will blow your mind: http://t.co/kVk25T9

Dinosaurs are just lies fed to us to hide the existence of pokemon

So the new Titanic 3D is out... Maybe they'll see the fucking iceberg this time.

:haha:

SEARCH "do a barrel roll" ON GOOGLE.
MIND BLOWN.

:woooah:

Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.

❒Single ❒Taken ✔Bacon

What if Joseph Kony makes a 30 minute video about an evil American film director who creates a corrupt charity and masturbates in public?

If Jesus could walk on water, and humans are 78% water. If I walk on someone, am I 78% Jesus?

I don't know how many girls it takes to change a lightbulb but I guarantee you they'd post pictures of them doing it on Facebook.

Anyone who says having a child was the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kats fall out of a vending machine at once.

watching someone else use a computer.. Yep this comic says it all http://plixi.com/p/47927027

🔋100%😃
🔋90% 😆
🔋80% 😁
🔋70% 😏
🔋60% 😅
🔋50% 😬
🔋40% 😐
🔋30% 😥
🔋20% 😧
🔋10 % 😫
🔋3% 😱🔌🏃💨💨

Please RT! If you’re an iPhone user, you should sign up here to be the first to know when we release Clique for iPhone:  http://clique.kickoffpages.com 

Anyone else think Wile E Coyote is North Korea's Rocket adviser?

Twilight.

The story of a young woman's choice to practice either bestiality or necrophilia.

:idontcare: