I'm just too hot right this moment.

And yes, you can take that 9 different ways.

No, not that. Not that either. You're horrible at this.

This insomnia coke is DELICIOUS.

Buh, I mean 'cake'. This coke cake is SOME DRUG.

Err, I mean 'drag'. This drag of cocaine is FANTASTIC.

Take heed: never, ever, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVER, EVwow you're still reading this?

PUNK IN DRUBLIC

I make a cranberry vinaigrette spinach salad that tastes like having a salt-lick turned into a shot put swung right at your balls.

Ladies.

Hermes' winged sandals ☑
Zeus' sword ☑
Athena's shield ☑
Hades' helm ☑
Darkness Cap ☑
Magic Wallet ☑
Medusa head ☑
Tiny penis ★★★☑

~Perseus

The twitter-avatar-of-yourself-taking-a-self-portrait-with-a-DSLR-pointed-at-a-mirror is the new Polo®-ensemble-double-upturned-collar.

Choosy Moms Choose Jizz™.

I came, I saw, your mom.

Losing your mind is possible, especially if you think about it. Take this sandwich. The taste. Texture. The voices. OH GOD THE VOICES.

Easy Sunday tweet #3: Found an odd stain on my dress shirt. Thought it's mustard. Licked it. It is mustard. Getting coffee to celebrate.

"Monday Night Football: Also, Schadenfavre™."

Is that a banana in my pocket or is my erect penis over here undergoing a panic attacOK OK YOU GOT ME DOCTOR IT'S BOTH, IT'S BOTH.

RT me and I'll freely give out your mom, hassle-free! I have 43 your mom invites left!

Awesome, a humpday meme in Wednesday.

It's like having morphine in your morphine so that you can relieve pain while you're relieving pain.

Jean Claude Van Dambien™.

You better not lay a finger on my buttered finger up your ass.™

Time to kick this account into OVERDRIVE. Tomorrow.

I/Moi/Thou/This dude/Your Lord,

need/want/desire/coax you/implore you

to/2

rub/massage/jiggle

my/mine/thine

belly/your mom.

Thank You.

I thinksterdam, therefore I amsterdam.