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gonna let netflix be the big spoon tonight
so confused is britneys last name spears or bitch?
i lint rolled for this?
hello i am your professor this is the book i wrote also it is the required text for this class also we will never use it thanks for ur money
beyonce sucked all of the power out of the superdome as she ascended back into heaven
hey sorry i can't come out tonight, i don't want to.
*holds baking sheet up to ear* ooh look at me im talking on my new samsung galaxy note 2
i forget, on which side of my dinner plate am i supposed to set my phone?
i dont know maybe its just a white person thing but i can literally sing the banjo part in just about every mumford and sons song
just got coffee at a coffee shop and didnt fall in love with anyone movies are bullshit
only 8 days until valentines candy goes on clearance!!
beauty tip: girls if you run out of make up just stick a couple of pepperonis on your cheeks
today is like taco bell's black friday
whenever i worry about my grades or future i remember that i have met some of the dumbest people i know in college so i should be fine
sometimes i forget you can bake cookie dough
nothing like laying on the couch after a long day of laying on the couch
if you can't handle me under fluorescent lighting then you don't deserve me in dimmer places
getting a 26.2 sticker on the back of my car so everyone knows how many ritz crackers i can fit in my mouth at the same time
my bucket list is the menu at the cheesecake factory
one time i ran with scissors and accidentally killed my whole family and also the dog
lover of cheese, runner (because of the cheese)