Updated Rapture Billboard http://twitpic.com/51czc3

Thursday Tongue Twister: Sadistic narcissistic statistics.

Farewell Facial Hair: middle school teacher vowed to go unshaven until Osama bin Laden was either captured or killed. http://j.mp/m0Naaz #fb

Isn't it embarrassing when you show up in a twitter feed wearing the same outfit as someone else? @curlycomedy http://t.co/46KHOWhi

When you presume, you make a pres out of u and me.

“@curlycomedy: Ma colle préférée c'est des oeufs cassés. Mais je n'arrive qu'à joindre des assièttes.” pardon your French.

"Should I stay or should I go?" —indecisive 80s cover band.

I really can’t stay
-but baby it’s cold outside
Actually, it’s May
-baby, it’s cold outside

“@spacemanquisp: I think I might have Aibohphobia, an irrational fear of palindromes.” Cc: @grantbarrett

Sorry, I kan’t LOLOL “@joycecaroloates: #TweetKant Be the first to condense Kant’s moral philosophy to 140.”

Bcz women do what they want “@mboylan: I wonder why Siri can’t read weather data.”

They didn’t show which country won Wheel of Fortune tonight #nbcfail

Jeopardy Champ Ken Jennings Explains Delaware's Very Unusual Border http://t.co/AjR8VTkh

Watership Downton Abbey Season One Now On DVD and Blu-Ray Disc #tnyquestion @newyorker

Cassette Tape Dispenser http://t.co/M8irOBXN

It's been way too long since I relished something. Next time I get a moment … or a hot dog.

@cubicle_secrets can we vote you back in to office?

#FF @curlycomedy Her 30yr old grandma tweets have been more entertaining than anything on MTV

I think it's the face of the guy banned from the local park http://j.mp/oaWRPp

If your name were Jack, and you were looking for your headphones, you'd probably get annoyed by me.