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  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    "We need a table for 5 and napkins for 143."

    - Me with my family entering every restaurant

    • 637
    • FAVS
    mmecushmorefindanotherboyixix82GBRougecity11MyJamsirmunchieLaPlannnerkeefymc
    • 326
    • RETWEETS
    PetrickSaraixix82GBRougecitySamaad_AhmedsirmunchiethegirlshewasmynightsideNdeshi_M
    derickgoldenrod__
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Doritos - my own personal love triangles.

    • 576
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitybraden219summers_sonnydaniel_frijolessirmunchiecharmfoznonchalantnachoNdeshi_M
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedConstantlymitsirmunchieAaliyahLovessnonchalantnachoNdeshi_MBryanCarteRestenfield
    kyle_thatisallKentTheG__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks.

    • 384
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchiecharmfozKRussellTX82Ndeshi_MRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05
    • 191
    • RETWEETS
    GBRougecitySamaad_AhmedsirmunchieKRussellTX82Ndeshi_MRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05
    WhatsHerFace33
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I have OCD and ADD. It's very difficult to stay focused on my obsessions.

    • 301
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchieNdeshi_MRestenfielddixie_normous76ClassyHooliganosoplainDestineyLynn
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchier3dphr34kNdeshi_MRestenfieldTlaxBoy05ClassyHooliganosoplain
    YesThatAmy
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Cap'n Crunch is basically just sweetened Legos.

    • 232
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchiemorebudlitechellelangerLostFeliciaRestenfieldVicFuture__HanksWaffle
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    GBRougecitySamaad_AhmedsirmunchiechellelangerLostFeliciaRestenfieldTlaxBoy05pinkdostoyevsky
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I bet Norwegian trucks are Built Fjord Tough.

    • 214
    • FAVS
    GBRougecityJIMBOSWELTsirmunchieRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05fastmofobansheeDiamondGirl127
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05johnusmcgee71This_isnt_meSeiYoung83Scott_A_Gilmore
    Laddy42__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If you don't know, it's also lonely at the bottom.

    • 206
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitymlccmsirmunchieRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlshythemafiagirlontapasExitThaWarrior
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedmlccmsirmunchie4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05girlontapasstonedcoldlazyScott_A_Gilmore
    Lovetown1989______
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    You're gonna put your hand where?! - muppets

    • 190
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitymlccmsirmunchieSkipperStevenslaurainbowdashabbycohenwlwtftibs1960JohnnyCrash5
    • 65
    • RETWEETS
    GBRougecitymlccmSamaad_Ahmedsirmunchielaurainbowdashwtftibs1960greggoodman77mrjohntofu
    themacmind
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    What's 100 ft long and has 21 teeth?

    The funnel cake line at the Kentucky State Fair.

    • 165
    • FAVS
    hollywood_95_69DrivelodeonPillarOfSaltsGBRougecitysirmunchieRestenfieldtxhomegrownVicFuture__
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    PillarOfSaltsGBRougecitySamaad_AhmedsirmunchieRestenfieldVicFuture__TlaxBoy05Scott_A_Gilmore
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I make it a point to tell every hipster I meet that I think their clothes are super cool so they continually have to buy a new outfit.

    • 158
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitymlccmsirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyScott_A_Gilmore
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    mlccmSamaad_AhmedsirmunchieBad_Disco123DumbConfessionsbluetractorawordforawordBillBull1107
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If ignorance is bliss then I'm stuck in traffic behind the happiest person alive.

    • 130
    • FAVS
    findanotherboyixix82cpsemplehollywood_95_69DrivelodeonGBRougecitysirmunchieExitThaWarrior
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    cpsemplehollywood_95_69GBRougecitySamaad_AhmedsirmunchieDiamondGirl127soccerskiingmomScott_A_Gilmore
    scootiekkVoiceofgarth
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    These "mind over matter" people that walk on red hot coals - so what?
    Try replacing them with a 750 pc Lego set.
    Then I'll be impressed.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyrachellemarkhamsoccerskiingmom
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiesoccerskiingmomkirstymackYShriefGoldenSpiralsCnelson019Carola_olivia4212
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    My Indian name is Dances With Little Debbie.

    • 129
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyscott_towelTangyToast
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchiescott_toweldapptrapcjmills0319katharinepriDaHess1__lK8KjXZyBmH9d2b
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Me: *please don't say toodles please don't say toodles please don't say toodles

    Coworker: I'm leaving now. Toodles!!

    Me:* sigh *loads gun

    • 127
    • FAVS
    sirmunchiefastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyTangyToastFredPollackSchleckterGoldenSpirals
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiejergarlZombieMommy523Nelsonroseveltlovemydogduckfavstar1000favsB______P_____
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter is where phone batteries go to die.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorSeiYoung83CherylAllin1Grunkle_MarcSandyMalik9BaeBitch1OneFunnyMummy
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieSeiYoung83KhaleddAhmedamitawasthiba_TheSE7EN_aarohi_333aadv03
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter: where everyone is addicted to either caffeine, bacon or alcohol, and hates wearing pants.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorDrDweezilOneFunnyMummyscootiekkscott_towelTangyToastGoldenSpirals
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchiescott_towelfavstar1000favsa_olivia4212thexytharaWickedRapunzelHeltonKGoins
    mr_no_pantsJaden76
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Every time you see a married guy standing outside a dressing room holding a purse, a hole appears in the testosterozone layer.

    • 100
    • FAVS
    BornofFictionNaked_SupermanGBRougecitysirmunchiedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyTangyToaststbarthgirl
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    rockdayNaked_SupermanGBRougecitySamaad_Ahmedsirmunchiembunting1982cigarinfuzzlime
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Their hygiene.
    There! Hi Gene!
    They're high, Jean.

    Spelling & punctuation do matter, kids.

    • 78
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchieJayDeeHizzleHumor_FetishkayjoonOrangejoeehero_ofthenightth_purpl_lady
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieOrangejoeehero_ofthenightHecate41caseytduncanSweet_Rogue0dhilliard74
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Baby Got Bach

    - 1700's rapper

    • 95
    • FAVS
    funnybeachgirlsirmunchiedadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyTangyToastGoldenSpiralstheshantilly
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieDrDweezilthexytharaknot_eyewarhorse76steveolivasZombieMommy523
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Wife was ranting bout EVERYTHING this morning. I shoved a Snickers in her mouth bc she "needed a moment"
    It didn't work like the commercial.

    • 91
    • FAVS
    GBRougecitysirmunchieBentToastSeiYoung83dadamantium__all_about_todayOneFunnyMummyTangyToast
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieBentToastSeiYoung83Cnelson019Carolmommamouse03BossyAndiKnowItknot_eye
@jeffreyr77

@jeffreyr77

Supernerd for movies, music, & books. Avid sports fan. @tjscq is the Princess Leia to my Han Solo.

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