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  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    "We need a table for 5 and napkins for 143."

    - Me with my family entering every restaurant

    • 633
    • FAVS
    11MyJamsirmunchieLaPlannnerkeefymcWhereinth3worldStLouisGameTimemynightsidebrokeninja
    • 323
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiethegirlshewasmynightsideNdeshi_MRachelMFinnJustTwinsaneknownAsDick
    derickgoldenrod__
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Doritos - my own personal love triangles.

    • 575
    • FAVS
    braden219summers_sonnydaniel_frijolessirmunchiecharmfoznonchalantnachoNdeshi_MReckless2128
    • 290
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedConstantlymitsirmunchieAaliyahLovessnonchalantnachoNdeshi_MBryanCarteRestenfield
    kyle_thatisallKentTheG__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks.

    • 383
    • FAVS
    sirmunchiecharmfozKRussellTX82Ndeshi_MRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05osoplain
    • 190
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieKRussellTX82Ndeshi_MRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05osoplain
    WhatsHerFace33
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I have OCD and ADD. It's very difficult to stay focused on my obsessions.

    • 300
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieNdeshi_MRestenfielddixie_normous76ClassyHooliganosoplainDestineyLynnPowKaPowBoom
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchier3dphr34kNdeshi_MRestenfieldTlaxBoy05ClassyHooliganosoplain
    YesThatAmy
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Cap'n Crunch is basically just sweetened Legos.

    • 231
    • FAVS
    sirmunchiemorebudlitechellelangerLostFeliciaRestenfieldVicFuture__HanksWaffleTlaxBoy05
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiechellelangerLostFeliciaRestenfieldTlaxBoy05pinkdostoyevskyl0l_whatevs
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I bet Norwegian trucks are Built Fjord Tough.

    • 213
    • FAVS
    JIMBOSWELTsirmunchieRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05fastmofobansheeDiamondGirl127__Drivelodeon
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05johnusmcgee71This_isnt_meSeiYoung83Scott_A_Gilmore
    Laddy42__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If you don't know, it's also lonely at the bottom.

    • 205
    • FAVS
    mlccmsirmunchieRestenfield4ScoreN20BowlshythemafiagirlontapasExitThaWarriorfastmofobanshee
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedmlccmsirmunchie4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05girlontapasstonedcoldlazyScott_A_Gilmore
    Lovetown1989______
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    You're gonna put your hand where?! - muppets

    • 189
    • FAVS
    mlccmsirmunchieSkipperStevenslaurainbowdashabbycohenwlwtftibs1960JohnnyCrash5notstate
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    mlccmSamaad_Ahmedsirmunchielaurainbowdashwtftibs1960greggoodman77mrjohntofutexasstalkermom
    themacmind
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    What's 100 ft long and has 21 teeth?

    The funnel cake line at the Kentucky State Fair.

    • 161
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieRestenfieldtxhomegrownVicFuture__TlaxBoy05ExitThaWarriorDrDweezilOneFunnyMummy
    • 72
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieRestenfieldVicFuture__TlaxBoy05Scott_A_Gilmoreawordforawordthexythara
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I make it a point to tell every hipster I meet that I think their clothes are super cool so they continually have to buy a new outfit.

    • 157
    • FAVS
    mlccmsirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyScott_A_Gilmorescootiekk
    • 63
    • RETWEETS
    mlccmSamaad_AhmedsirmunchieBad_Disco123DumbConfessionsbluetractorawordforawordBillBull1107
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    These "mind over matter" people that walk on red hot coals - so what?
    Try replacing them with a 750 pc Lego set.
    Then I'll be impressed.

    • 137
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyrachellemarkhamsoccerskiingmom
    • 50
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiesoccerskiingmomkirstymackYShriefGoldenSpiralsCnelson019Carola_olivia4212
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If ignorance is bliss then I'm stuck in traffic behind the happiest person alive.

    • 124
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheeDiamondGirl127__dadamantium__OneFunnyMummysoccerskiingmomScott_A_Gilmore
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieDiamondGirl127__soccerskiingmomScott_A_GilmoreELEPHANTSiNJARSOhYeahILiedscootiekk
    scootiekkVoiceofgarth
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    My Indian name is Dances With Little Debbie.

    • 128
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyscott_towelTangyToastFredPollack
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchiescott_toweldapptrapcjmills0319katharinepriDaHess1__lK8KjXZyBmH9d2b
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Me: *please don't say toodles please don't say toodles please don't say toodles

    Coworker: I'm leaving now. Toodles!!

    Me:* sigh *loads gun

    • 127
    • FAVS
    sirmunchiefastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyTangyToastFredPollackSchleckterGoldenSpirals
    • 38
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchiejergarlZombieMommy523Nelsonroseveltlovemydogduckfavstar1000favsB______P_____
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter is where phone batteries go to die.

    • 108
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorSeiYoung83CherylAllin1Grunkle_MarcSandyMalik9BaeBitch1OneFunnyMummy
    • 56
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieSeiYoung83KhaleddAhmedamitawasthiba_TheSE7EN_aarohi_333aadv03
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter: where everyone is addicted to either caffeine, bacon or alcohol, and hates wearing pants.

    • 113
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieExitThaWarriorDrDweezilOneFunnyMummyscootiekkscott_towelTangyToastGoldenSpirals
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchiescott_towelfavstar1000favsa_olivia4212thexytharaWickedRapunzelHeltonKGoins
    mr_no_pantsJaden76
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Every time you see a married guy standing outside a dressing room holding a purse, a hole appears in the testosterozone layer.

    • 97
    • FAVS
    sirmunchiedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyTangyToaststbarthgirlcigarinforcedelasourcevonTraphaus
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchiembunting1982cigarinfuzzlimehanscsGoldenSpiralsjadedjenny71
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Their hygiene.
    There! Hi Gene!
    They're high, Jean.

    Spelling & punctuation do matter, kids.

    • 77
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieJayDeeHizzleHumor_FetishkayjoonOrangejoeehero_ofthenightth_purpl_ladyBurbidgeJames
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieOrangejoeehero_ofthenightHecate41caseytduncanSweet_Rogue0dhilliard74
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Baby Got Bach

    - 1700's rapper

    • 95
    • FAVS
    funnybeachgirlsirmunchiedadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyTangyToastGoldenSpiralstheshantilly
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieDrDweezilthexytharaknot_eyewarhorse76steveolivasZombieMommy523
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Wife was ranting bout EVERYTHING this morning. I shoved a Snickers in her mouth bc she "needed a moment"
    It didn't work like the commercial.

    • 90
    • FAVS
    sirmunchieBentToastSeiYoung83dadamantium__all_about_todayOneFunnyMummyTangyToastGoldenSpirals
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_AhmedsirmunchieBentToastSeiYoung83Cnelson019Carolmommamouse03BossyAndiKnowItknot_eye
@jeffreyr77

@jeffreyr77

Supernerd for movies, music, & books. Avid sports fan. @tjscq is the Princess Leia to my Han Solo.

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