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  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    "We need a table for 5 and napkins for 143."

    - Me with my family entering every restaurant

    • 648
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperyokatikatykatebeatendownhubbyAdrienneWhatevValeeGrrlSoonerjay75scott_atlanta
    • 332
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86wickedimproperValeeGrrlMichele82178556breanna_redvexroidPetrickSaraixix82
    derickgoldenrod__
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Doritos - my own personal love triangles.

    • 584
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperMaryholschuhValeeGrrlMichele82178556scott_atlantaEvannOseyevexroid
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    MaryholschuhValeeGrrlscott_atlantavahsiNvexroidSamaad_AhmedConstantlymitsirmunchie__
    kyle_thatisallKentTheG__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Learning karate in case I'm ever attacked by cinder blocks and wood planks.

    • 402
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperleashalettevexroidsweetg35DustyHumeMooMooMahjoubmoodtooth
    • 205
    • RETWEETS
    leashaletteMichele82178556vexroidYolandavdZeermonty33DustyHumemoodtoothWalkingCivilWar
    WhatsHerFace33
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Cap'n Crunch is basically just sweetened Legos.

    • 332
    • FAVS
    OurRejubilationzachv86wickedimproperKittenWrittenNiki8881leashaletteWestofCrazyjoantcolton
    • 163
    • RETWEETS
    OurRejubilationzachv86leashaletteFried_TweeterrichforriDirtyOldBroadBertmosaPDogg8675309
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I have OCD and ADD. It's very difficult to stay focused on my obsessions.

    • 316
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperBalentColeenMaran126me_as_TroyanniedyslexickathrynamorganInnov8rGuy
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86BalentColeenYolandavdZeeeddy2052QareoqeefazlurchoudharyMSLuvsExamplejnarredondo
    YesThatAmy
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I bet Norwegian trucks are Built Fjord Tough.

    • 217
    • FAVS
    cranky_unfun_1zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecityJIMBOSWELTsirmunchie__Restenfield4ScoreN20Bowls
    • 73
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05johnusmcgee71This_isnt_meSeiYoung83
    Laddy42__________
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If you don't know, it's also lonely at the bottom.

    • 208
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitymlccmsirmunchie__Restenfield4ScoreN20Bowlshythemafia
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86wickedimproperSamaad_Ahmedmlccmsirmunchie__4ScoreN20BowlsTlaxBoy05girlontapas
    Lovetown1989______
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    You're gonna put your hand where?! - muppets

    • 193
    • FAVS
    cranky_unfun_1zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitymlccmsirmunchie__SkipperStevenslau_rainbowdash
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86GBRougecitymlccmSamaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__lau_rainbowdashwtftibs1960greggoodman77
    themacmind
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    What's 100 ft long and has 21 teeth?

    The funnel cake line at the Kentucky State Fair.

    • 167
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperhollywood_95_69DrivelodeonPillarOfSaltsGBRougecitysirmunchie__Restenfield
    • 75
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86PillarOfSaltsGBRougecitySamaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__RestenfieldVicFuture__TlaxBoy05
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    I make it a point to tell every hipster I meet that I think their clothes are super cool so they continually have to buy a new outfit.

    • 160
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitymlccmsirmunchie__ExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86mlccmSamaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__Bad_Disco123DumbConfessionsbluetractorawordforaword
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    If ignorance is bliss then I'm stuck in traffic behind the happiest person alive.

    • 132
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperfindanotherboyixix82cpsemplehollywood_95_69DrivelodeonGBRougecity
    • 59
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86cpsemplehollywood_95_69GBRougecitySamaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__DiamondGirl127soccerskiingmom
    scootiekkVoiceofgarth
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    These "mind over matter" people that walk on red hot coals - so what?
    Try replacing them with a 750 pc Lego set.
    Then I'll be impressed.

    • 138
    • FAVS
    zachv86sirmunchie__ExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyrachellemarkham
    • 51
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__soccerskiingmomkirstymackYShriefGoldenSpiralsCnelson019Carol
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    My Indian name is Dances With Little Debbie.

    • 131
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitysirmunchie__ExitThaWarriorfastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummy
    • 39
    • RETWEETS
    zachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__scott_toweldapptrapcjmills0319katharinepriDaHess1__
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter is where phone batteries go to die.

    • 112
    • FAVS
    badAzz_momferlampzachv86wickedimpropersirmunchie__ExitThaWarriorSeiYoung83rockandsass
    • 58
    • RETWEETS
    badAzz_momzachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__SeiYoung83KhaleddAhmedamitawasthiba_TheSE7EN_
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Me: *please don't say toodles please don't say toodles please don't say toodles

    Coworker: I'm leaving now. Toodles!!

    Me:* sigh *loads gun

    • 130
    • FAVS
    badAzz_momzachv86wickedimpropersirmunchie__fastmofobansheedadamantium__OneFunnyMummyTangyToast
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    badAzz_momzachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__jergarlZombieMommy523Nelsonroseveltlovemydogduck
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Twitter: where everyone is addicted to either caffeine, bacon or alcohol, and hates wearing pants.

    • 116
    • FAVS
    siddo471zachv86wickedimpropersirmunchie__ExitThaWarriorDrDweezilOneFunnyMummyscootiekk
    • 37
    • RETWEETS
    siddo471zachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__scott_towelfavstar1000favsa_olivia4212thexythara
    mr_no_pantsJaden76
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Every time you see a married guy standing outside a dressing room holding a purse, a hole appears in the testosterozone layer.

    • 103
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperthenoahkinseyBornofFictionNaked_SupermanGBRougecitysirmunchie__dadamantium__
    • 45
    • RETWEETS
    rockdayNaked_SupermanGBRougecitySamaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__mbunting1982cigarinfuzzlime
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Their hygiene.
    There! Hi Gene!
    They're high, Jean.

    Spelling & punctuation do matter, kids.

    • 80
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitysirmunchie__JayDeeHizzleHumor_FetishkayjoonOrangejoee
    • 48
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__Orangejoeehero_ofthenightHecate41caseytduncanSweet_Rogue0dhilliard74
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Baby Got Bach

    - 1700's rapper

    • 97
    • FAVS
    zachv86wickedimproperfunnybeachgirlsirmunchie__dadamantium__DrDweezilOneFunnyMummyTangyToast
    • 26
    • RETWEETS
    Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__DrDweezilthexytharaknot_eyewarhorse76steveolivasZombieMommy523
  • jeffreyr77
      Jeffrey R @jeffreyr77

    Wife was ranting bout EVERYTHING this morning. I shoved a Snickers in her mouth bc she "needed a moment"
    It didn't work like the commercial.

    • 94
    • FAVS
    siddo471zachv86wickedimproperGBRougecitysirmunchie__BentToastSeiYoung83dadamantium__
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    siddo471zachv86Samaad_Ahmedsirmunchie__BentToastSeiYoung83Cnelson019Carolmommamouse03
@jeffreyr77

@jeffreyr77

Supernerd for movies, music, & books. Avid sports fan. @tjscq is the Princess Leia to my Han Solo.

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