So excited for my hot date with @donttrythis and @jamienotweet tonight! And oh yeah, @kr1tt3r.

Finally a team took my advice and just laid down on the field. Thhat would have been an awesome play had it worked! #MNF

@sports_woman Hey look! You can copy and paste @peytonshead's tweets!

Universe, stop poking my PTSD. I'm tired.

Two of my friends wishing #hcr would be overturned have children with pre-existing conditions who will be denied coverage. Ignorance.

Or if he didn't add he still wanted to see you again. Not for dinner but for more tests to make sure. Come on! Just say no cancer and quit!

@delafuesher @runnersden Me too! Good for a nice warm night run!

@delafuesher @runnersden Can't wait! Break in the work day for running related fun!

"When girls say 'suck my dick' it makes me giggle." - @phxkevin12345 Good to know how often I've made a grown man giggle.

@billyeichner #saidnooneever

How drunk and HAPPY I am right now should be illegal. A life full of amazing people I have.

@jen_ii I'm allowed to email @buriedbyfish too without an intervention right?

@rorynotroy I'm going to need you to send that to me. Cheaper than Xanax and without the sleepiness I'm sure!

Note to self, tomorrow when you are up at dawn with the nephew, bring the monthly reviews back and listen to more Pink.

Asleep on the couch, under a @packers blanket , & we had to withhold dinner til he put pants on. How is he not my kid? pic.twitter.com/nymZyoWK

Most upsetting part of @owenbenjamin vs Chris Brown fans - that people are fans of an abuser or how DREADFULLY awful their spelling is?

@imchriskelly @imchriskelly If that is not a euphemism I did it today.

Listening to Anberlin's (*Fin) and reading the board of words that inspires the woman who proves I can survive this has made my hands ache.

Um, @mattandkim AND @mindykaling together? Exponential awesomeness. http://t.co/yDRLWjMp

You know what the Olympics were missing? Sharks. Yay #sharkweek