If you wear two shades of brown at the same time, you look like a poor person in a play.

Bullish: How To Make Money From Being Hip As All Fucking Hell http://t.co/P70wqjF via @the_grindstone

Thanksgiving celebrates the worst qualities of white people: colonialism and the world's most bland cuisine.

What do you call a make-your-own-Vietnamese-sandwich bar on the side of a German highway? AUTOBANH MI.

The moment you write "This page intentionally left blank," you have created a lie.

Bullish: How To Make A Career Out Of The 10,000 Things You Want To Do http://t.co/6BBDgHqW via @the_grindstone

Should you be a lady or a gentlewoman? http://thegloss.com/odds-and-ends/bullish-how-to-run-your-career-like-a-gentlewoman-2/

I LOVE THIS PICTURE. My gender identity weeps for what it cannot have. Alison Brie In Wired  http://www.thegloss.com/2013/03/22/fashion/alison-brie-photos/ … via @theglossdotcom

Haiku: OMG kimchi! So spicy and fermented. You're probiotic!

@ericicomedy @coppertopper_85 Oh, I can't wait for someone to tell me about a loving God's beautiful tapestry of murder, rape, and genocide.

Aspire means strive. Aspirate means suck up fluid. "Aspiration" is seriously ambiguous.

It's been years since I opened a spam out of genuine interest, but "Grow ridiculously large blueberries right in your home" got me.

@mollycrabapple People feel "empowered" to pay for more yoga classes. People w/"power" can take out tyrants and otherwise remake the world.

Don't settle for a job that pays you based on how many hours you sit in a chair. Too many people can sit equally well. #6figgaznodebt

Add your monthly rent/bills, divide by 30, double, and make that your daily income target. #6figgaznodebt

"Jack the Giant Slayer" NEEDS A HYPHEN. Jack himself is very small.

Once you've had kimchi, sauerkraut just lacks art.

Well, that kind of killed YOUR excuses: The Top 15 Most Badass People That You've Never Heard Of  http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/15-of-the-biggest-badasses-who-ever-lived-that-youve-probabl … via @buzzfeed

I'm on my way to Yale to speak at a Master's Tea. An Ivy League that sounds more like a British BDSM thing.

Voting is indeed excellent revenge against the party that seemed to have been campaigning on the "rape isn't all that bad" platform.