I just did the math. A Rod owes all 47,000 of us $30. #postseason #yankees.

I had salt and vinegar potato chips for breakfast. In bed. So no, no I am not seeing anyone new, Mom.

some chick is 36 min late to her interview with me, I'm intrigued. Haha I'm giving interviews LOL!

Adderall: "how to be unbearable to be around, lose friends and alienate people." Just trying out some new tag lines.

@capricecrane wish my dad whose account I steal wouldn't be able to see the lesbian movies I watch.

I'm so confused when I say please and the answer is still no.

I wonder if Amanda Bynes thinks I'm pretty.

"@britneyspears:I'm so grateful to the brave men and women who serve this country. God Bless America! Xo pic.twitter.com/VURiBa16Tl"@joemande

Happy Memorial Day to all Veterans and both my Grandfathers who courageously fought for my roommate's right to be a self-entitled cunt. Xo

Seeing @dannyzuker in @harlancoben latest book feels like my two worlds colliding in the studliest of ways.

@robdelaney I'll DM you.

@robdelaney I've mulled it over and still want to not friendzone you.

Hey @jlo remember when you used to take the 6 train? LOL

@anakgjonaj cause peeps are stoops.

No clue who Jason Collins was before today but I have a lot of respect for anyone who owns their truth. #fwhatpplthink

@anakgjonaj I got you.

@anakgjonaj yep, it's her

@anakgjonaj was the lady my mom?

@anakgjonaj fair is she paying for treatment?

I wish my biggest worry was still my bf from high school cheating on me.