You can always count on Chris Davis for a homer.

Ball SO Hardy #BombCity

At work today one of my kids told me my hair was so pretty and that it was magic like Rapunzel's. Pretty much the best compliment ever 👸✨💖👑

Like why did I used to draw sunglasses on the sun how is he supposed to protect his retinas from the sun when he is the sun.

All of you Obama lovers... Educate yourself on the latest news dealing with the IRS. #bs

The Wasilla McDonald's sign currently says "Quarder pounder burger"...

QuarDer?

Sir, I think you mean QuarTer.

I think, as white girls, we focus too much on you're/your and then/than. Breath/breathe and loose/lose don't get NEARLY enough attention.

"Do I still have my tiara on my head 'cause I was wearing it in the car..." @sydneylippa

i like my yogurt greek, my tats hebrew, my theologians german, my bible english and my take-out chinese

Mall kiosk workers are the human equivalent of pop-up ads.

I was just stopped on the street and proceeded to have a conversation with a man who was looking for tips on hair growing. #Annapolis

Free as a bird: pic.twitter.com/I1Eka0bITc

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel

Wake up in the morning feeling like Sean Combs

This time tomorrow, I will be flying to Phoenix for my internship!!!!!!!

I'm so glad the Orioles took this series from the Yankees.

Customer: "do you want everyone to see that your fly is down or should I tell you?"

No go ahead and tell me, thanks.

Cat Beards: The Latest Funny Photo Trend Involving Cats  http://fstoppers.com/?p=87000 

I wish everyone knew this feeling......... To step back and realize everything you've ever dreamed about is now a reality!!! #Blessed

“Worry is not believing God will get it right, and bitterness is believing God got it wrong.” - @timkellernyc